Bittersweet love
by AddictedPenguin
Summary: After Gouenji got rejected by his childhood love Kidou, he soon finds himself in a new complicated relationship with an older, married man, who introduces him to a complete different life style. [Gouenji x OC] Rated M because of plotless sex and Gouenji's pickup lines. (Completed with magically appearing new chapters).
1. Chapter 1

**HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED HEATHER! Last year I crushed your feelings with "I do", and it was the start of a beautiful friendship. This year (and a lot of weeks later) I wrote something less heartbreaking for you.**

**To all the regular readers: there's a warning for a lot of plotless sex.**

**In _The Endless Battle, _Fudou runs into a man named Robert. As far as I'm concerned, almost everyone fell in love with him, including Heather obviously.  
****So here is Robert, but this time with Gouenji.**

**(Look I managed to come up with a lameass title in the end! ...I first wanted to call it Sugar Daddy but that doesn't seem like a good idea. Maybe I'll come up with something better some day, but for now I'll keep it at this.)**

**Please enjoy! **

* * *

Gouenji found out about his sexuality when he was still in Junior High, or rather, when the genius game maker Kidou Yuuto joined their team and decided to fight alongside with them. Ever since he saw the Teikoku captain move around on the field he felt fascinated by his plays. Since that first match he played against the young genius he felt strongly connected to him. He had come to see him play after all the first time they chose Raimon as their opponent. It wasn't until their rivalry turned into a strong, mutual friendship and he was able to see a completely different side of the midfielder he realised this strong connection had developed into a different feeling; attraction. He was constantly focussed on his friend, what he was doing, who he was talking to. He would stay longer if Kidou was, he followed him to accidently bump into him. Gouenji felt like a stalking, freshman high school girl, obsessing about their senior crush. His chances were as low as one too, the only matters on Kidou's mind seemed to be soccer. The most embarrassing moment for him was when he caught himself checking out Kidou's chest while he was changing, and instead of averting his gaze his eyes travelled down to his friend's shorts and wonder how he'd look like completely naked. He fantasised about ripping those off altogether with those blue goggles of his and force him against the wall.

And those thoughts scared him, it scared him that he thought about his teammate and one of his best friends like that. He was just fourteen.

But the thoughts went on and he was even chasing Kidou in his dreams. He often woke up with his heart in his throat and a rock hard erection visible underneath the sheets, and it did not help that he and Kidou grew closer over the years. He was around the age of seventeen when the feelings towards his friend became too much to bear. He build up the courage and confessed the feelings he kept hidden for all those years to him, but Kidou rejected him, and for the first time in their many years of friendship Gouenji as unable to read his expression. It was the first time Gouenji had actually seen the game maker of their team nervous, he couldn't look him in the eye. Gouenji, as foolish and heartbroken as he was, asked Kidou to forget the confession and suggested that they could still be friends. Nothing would change between the two of them, but to him, nothing was the same. He never got completely over Kidou, but he started seeing other people. It was his way to prove to the both of them that the love confession he had made earlier, wasn't that much of a big deal.

It's now seven years later and Kidou has come out of the closet. He had been dating Fudou behind their backs since he was sixteen. Gouenji didn't need much time to add the numbers, they already had been going out together when he confessed to him. They all went out to a pub together to celebrate their eight years anniversary, apparently. Gouenji went along, not wanting to disappoint his best friend, and in desperate need for a drink. Later Kidou took him apart to 'talk it out', he apologised for his odd behaviour. His confession had been a huge surprise for him and by that time, he didn't know how to give him a proper answer. He had only just started going out with Fudou and it was meant to be a secret. Gouenji accepted his apology, he couldn't say no to that man. He had never been able to deny him anything.

It's around midnight and Gouenji is drinking away his fifth beer. Endou already left earlier because of his obligations to his wife and he's not quite in the mood to sit with a tipsy Kidou and his wasted boyfriend. Eventually he feels a hand on his shoulder, Kidou is standing behind him with a slight blush colouring his cheeks. Gouenji has to reach out for his glass and take another gulp to distract him from jumping on his best friend and kiss him senselessly in front of his boyfriend. Although, that would be an unforgettable act of vengeance. Instead, Kidou informs him that he's taking his drunk partner home. When Gouenji lays his eyes on the man, drinking the remaining of his beer, alone in the booth where Kidou left him; he winks at him. He's probably not as drunk as he's pretending to be so Kidou will take him home and they can have sex. Gouenji feels a wave of nausea taking over his body when he thinks of Fudou's hands touching his Yuuto, but all he can do at this point is nod at Kidou and wish him good luck.

Gouenji almost feels like Jesus, because after Kidou left the beer he was drinking quickly turned into wine, and even later two or three tequilas. "Having a tough night?" A man in his early fifties sits himself down on the stool next to the blonde. Gouenji, not wanting to come off as rude, but already particularly drunk by now slurs: "Tough isn't even how I would describe it. It feels like... like you just bought a new suit and your stupid, clumsy secretary spills coffee all over it, and that day you're wearing your favourite vest too. That's how bad it feels."

"I understand your pain." He chuckles and turns to the bartender. "Sir, two whiskey on the rocks for us please!" He winks at Gouenji who can feel a blush creeping on his face. "Let us make a deal. When this glass is empty and you're still not feeling better, come pay me a visit. I'm right over there." He makes a gesture in the direction he just came from, receives his glass from the man behind the bar and returns to his own table.

Gouenji is confused, he's flabbergasted but he's especially horny. Who _is _that man with his gray hair combed back with almost the same amount of hair products he usually needs to style his hair. His expensive, neat looking suit in combination with those immaculately lacquered shoes and those piercing, blue eyes. What did he say again, something about finishing his glass. That's not an impossible task.

But it's harder than he thought it would be, the tanned man is used to beer and some expensive wines Kidou brings with him whenever he invites him over, but this kind of liquor is something else. It does give him the time to fantasise about the unknown, extremely sexy man and cast a few more naughty than flirtatious glances in his direction. Every time their eyes connect he'd give him a smile and Gouenji would feel a numerous of sparks heading straight for his groin. He wonders about his name, his age, his big hands touching his skin and what's underneath his clothes, by the time Gouenji already stripped him thrice in his head he decides that it's time to approach the man as he's no longer able to restrain himself.

In his head he's walking in a straight line towards his goal, the number of times the other guests in the bar indignantly ask him to excuse himself however signifies the opposite, but Gouenji doesn't hear them, nor care how many glasses he accidentally swiped over. He doesn't care if that man's name is either Ben Dover, Neill Down, or Pete 'O File because he wants to play strip poker with that man all night. Gouenji will strip and the sexy stranger is allowed to poke him until the sun rises. Just, _how_ is he getting that man in his bed tonight?

"Hey hotshot," he leans with both of his hands on the wooden table and leans in to the man until their noses almost touch. Very appealing with his alcohol reeking breath he proceeds to slur: "Imma famous soccer player. Would you like to see one of my _hissatsu_ techniques? 'cause I'm gonna _Bakunetsu_ _Screw_ you tonight." _Nailed it._

"Is that so?" The man smiles faintly and moves his hand so the half-melted ice cubes clink against the low whiskey glass.

"Baby, I'm hot like a firefighter. I find 'em hot and leave 'em wet."

Instead of throwing the remaining of substance of the glass in Gouenji's face and stuffing the ice cubes in the said man's pants like any other reasonable person would do, the other invites the drunk blonde to sit down and have another drink with him. Gouenji gains a lot of information about the gray haired man with bright, blue eyes. His name is Robert, fifty-two and he's a wealthy business man, born in Exton, Pennsylvania. He went to the _University of Vermont_, studied Business Administration and after he graduated he went in on a job offer in New York_._ After working there for almost twenty years he missed the excitement and challenge his job used to give him. That's when he heard that they were opening a new branch of the company in Japan. Robert almost immediately agreed to the managing position his company was offering him. He took a curses Japanese for two years and he has been living here for nearly five years now. He has been married, divorced and re-married again. He has a daughter, a little younger than himself, and a dog named Pat. Gouenji was eager to hear more about him, or rather, hear him speak. His voice is like a soft, sweet melody in his ears and it gives him a pleasant feeling in his stomach. He's almost not even aware anymore of the subtle touches on Gouenji's hand, shoulder and knee. Every time that man touches him he feels a little spark. Yes, in these two hours that they sat together; Gouenji has developed a major crush on him.

He notices how Robert occasionally glances at his expensive _Rolex _watch. They must be closing up soon and the tanned man experience a brief moment of panic. He hasn't even received his phone number yet. He might be disappearing from his life as sudden as he entered it and that's not how he wants his night to end. He isn't sure _what _it is that he wants from the older man, but he certainly wants _something_. He has never felt this attracted to anyone besides Kidou before and he's not ready yet to say their farewells. Especially not after the obvious interest he has shown in him, not even once before has Gouenji felt this as ease with someone and talk freely about his feelings as a homosexual man trapped in a world full of high expectations and shallow relationships to keep his sexual orientation hidden from his old fashioned father. Then again, it could be the alcohol speaking too.

"Gouenji," Robert's voice draws him back. "It's about time that we call it a night, don't you agree?" _No_, he does not agree, but how does he withhold this incredibly attractive man from leaving his life? Had he still been in disguise as The Holy Emperor and had Robert been around his age or younger he would simply have invited him over to a luxurious hotel room where he would show him all the corners of the rented suite, but he won't get a wealthy man like Robert into his bed with some dirty talk and bragging about his private limousine. While he is rummaging his brain for a possible excuse to spend more time with him, the older man is already asking for the bill. He has to act quickly. Suddenly, in his drunk state, or maybe because of it, he realises that he does not need to _talk_ Robert into bed, he simply has to show him what he wants. He does not need his burgundy suit, shiny jewellery or private limousine to convince him, he has his secret weapon right with him. His mouth. He grabs the other male by the sleeve of his gray blazer and as soon as he turns his face Gouenji smashes their faces together. The kiss is messy, all tongue and sometimes their teeth clash, but he won't let him move away. His eyes squeezed shut tightly and his nails digging into the man's arm. Robert, who has apparently no intention in pushing the younger man away at all, answers the kiss with the same amount of passion Gouenji is trying to put into it and casually slides an arm around the blonde's waist to draw him closer. It might be the alcohol, Gouenji's anger towards his friend or his feeling of deep sorrow regarding the rejection from many years ago or a combination of it all, but he's certain of one thing. He doesn't want this to end, rather, he wants Robert to strip him from his clothes and take him over the bar right this instant. But the older man seems to have a different plan in mind for them. He withdraws from the kiss and for a moment Gouenji fears his action had been too blunt, but that thought few out of his mind like a flighty birth when he feels Robert's hand give him a firm squeeze on his crotch. "If I rent a suite for us, would you mind to continue this in a hotel room?" Gouenji shakes his head, he can hardly believe it; his plan has worked.

It took a surprising amount of effort for Gouenji to not kiss him senseless for the entire journey, but Gouenji still has just enough decency left to not start partially having sex with the man on the backseat of their taxi. Yet, he is located on his lap, with Robert's hand enthusiastically squeezing on his leg and his thumb rubbing in small circles over his thigh. Only inside the two men lost what was left of their composure and they were all over each other by the time Robert finally unlocked the door of their hotel room and guided him to the sofa. Gouenji, already rock hard and eager to find out what's hiding beneath those expensive layers of clothing, gets gently pushed away by the older man. The blonde can't help but voice his disappointment with a soft noise but his sour face vanishes as soon as he notices that Robert is reaching out of the cold champagne the staff placed on the coffee table for them. He understand that for Robert, this is part of the foreplay and he waits patiently until he removed the cork from the bottle. Once again, he places himself on Robert's lap with his face in his direction and his knees planted on each side of the other male's body, pressing against the leather of the sofa. Gouenji, feeling more daring than usual, takes a sip from Robert's glass. The man quirks a brow and two piercing blue eyes are staring directly into his chocolate brown once. The blonde leans in for another kiss with the liquor still in his mouth and only allows himself to part his lips when he feels Robert's tongue playfully brushing over them. The champagne gets exchanged and after the kiss Gouenji's tongue slides over the other man's chin so not a single drop goes to waste.

Gouenji unbuttons the other man's shirt and roams his fingers eagerly through the now exposed, gray chest hair. It makes him wonder what colour his hair used to be but he forgets he even wanted to ask a question as all when Robert unbuttons his trousers. Two fingers then press against Gouenji's lip and it takes less than a second for him to understand the hint. He parts his lips and eagerly takes the two fingers that Robert is offering him in his mouth. He folds his fingers around Robert's wrist while cloaking the man's fingers with his own saliva and always remaining eye contact as he seductively sucks off his digits as if it were his penis. Robert withdraws and instead of feeling his hand on his crotch, where he expected it to be, the older man's hand trails to his butt and gives it a firm squeeze before sliding into his briefs. His wetted fingers with Gouenji's own salvia press against his entrance.

Gouenji gasps and feels the excitement grow. He feels like a teenager, experimenting for the first time. He had male partners before in his time as _Seitei_, a couple of girlfriends even to please his father, but he was always on top. This time it will be different and he's curious to find out. Robert gently pushes against his entrance and Gouenji tries to relax his body, especially the lower half of it, as Robert's finger either gets pulled or sucked in. He reaches the ring of the muscle and he gradually opens up as he continues to finger him gently. He's not forcing anything, not too hard or too much at once. But soon enough Robert has a glass of champagne in one hand, and two fingers penetrating Gouenji with the other. His digits are twisting and curling inside the younger man's now squirming body. He's moving them in and out, jiggling them a bit, and going faster and slower or at a different angle. Gouenji is gradually growing more impatient to find out how it feels to have him completely inside. Eventually, he can't hold himself anymore. "I want you to fuck me, Robert." He intended to whisper, but a sudden firm move from Robert's fingers make him moan his line instead.

"Quite the needy one you are, hm?" Robert chuckles softly against his lips and removes his fingers to wrap both of his arms around the shorter man's waist and carry him to the bedroom with Gouenji's legs tightly wrapped around his body. They fall onto the bed and proceed to strip each other from their clothes. Robert is toying with Gouenji's head. The finger light touches on his skin, his tongue wandering around in his mouth and an erection bigger than he has ever seen rubbing over his own. Robert is murmuring sweet nothings against his lips, he tells him how sexy and attractive he is, how beautiful his body looks and how soft his skin feels. It's driving him insane, his voice, the touches, those eyes. He wants him, he wants _all _of him and he understands now that if he wants this man to finally release him from his endless teases he will have to beg him, and beg him he will. "Robert," he moans when the said man circles his tongue around his nipple. "_Please_."

Finally, _finally_, Robert makes a move. He sits up and searches between the pile of clothes for his wallet. When Gouenji sees the older man hovering over him with the wrapper of the condom between his lips he feels a pleasant shudder all the way down over his spine. He's excited and all the previous nerves and tension he felt earlier are leaving his body once he feels the tip of Robert's hard member press against his entrance. He wants this man, and his wants him now.

The first thrusts were extremely painful, wasn't the alcohol supposed to help with this? Gouenji quietly cursed at himself in his head, how did the boys he slept with before handle this amount of pain? Thankfully, Robert saw the change in Gouenji's eyes and proceeded to move more slowly. It felt good, it felt better, it felt absolutely amazing and in the early hours of the morning Gouenji and Robert had tried various positions and reached multiple climaxes until neither of them was able to move or voice one of their pleasurable moans any longer. Satisfied and entirely indulged the both of them fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning Gouenji wakes up in an unknown bed, fully naked, a hangover worse than he ever experienced and empty sheets next to him. He exhales a deep sigh while rubbing over his temples; he had not expected any other way. When he slept with one of his employees he always made sure to be gone the next morning too, but still something is nagging in his chest. Last night incredible, he had never felt anything comparable to that feeling before. Aside from the wonderful sex, Robert seemed like a very fascinating man and Gouenji wouldn't have mind to learn more about the man while he is sober. He does vaguely remember some details, but most of them are bully or completely wiped away by the exercises they did last night. Gouenji pushes himself up with his elbows; he'll search for a possibly left behind note later, first he's in the need for a large glass of cold water.

Before Gouenji can leave the bed the bedroom door opens and a tall man, wearing a white bathrobe enters the room. "Good morning, how's the headache?"

"A lot less now." A grin creeps on Gouenji's face, Robert didn't leave and apparently it wasn't just the alcohol that made him look better than he actually was. Robert is extremely handsome. "I see you had enough time to do your hair before I woke up?" Gouenji comments, fascinated by the amount of hair projects he possibly had to use to get it this smooth. "Naturally, I would not want you to see my bed hair after the first night we spent together. I intend to keep you around a little longer. Although you do look better than you described you would." Robert's smile exudes something lovingly, but his eyes are sparkling with mischief and it makes Gouenji wonder exactly what he blurred out in his drunk state.

"If you sit down then I could tame your pubic hair for you. I happen to be very skilled with my fingers and hair gel." To that Robert just laughs and a knock on the door follows. "It seems our breakfast is here." He rolls in a cart with a small sized chocolate fountain and a basket filled with fruit. The older man crawls over the bed with a strawberry dipped in the bittersweet chocolate and he proceeds to feed him. Gouenji doesn't ask, nor complain, he's letting it all coming over him. They feed each other, share some delicious, hot, chocolate kisses and cuddle in each other's arms, until Robert removes all the white sheets that were covering Gouenji's still naked body. "Robert, what are you— ah!"

The now lukewarm, melted chocolate is being poured over the blonde's chest, from his collarbone all the way down to his crotch. "Don't ask," Robert murmurs in a deep voice. "but enjoy, _Shuuji_." Gouenji's eyes widen, did he even tell him about _that_ part of his life? Robert isn't granting him much time to think about it, a hot, wet tongue connects with his skin. His tongue is slowly sliding down over Gouenji's chest, round his nipples, over his rips, teasing at his belly button and lower and lower he goes. Gouenji is pressing the back of his head deeper against the pillow, hands holding onto the futon and he lets a soft gasp escape from his lips when Robert's tongue touches the tip of his semi-hard erection. He lets his tongue circle around the tip, brushing his lips across the full length and a teasing nibble on the head. "_Robert"_ he moans, not able to restrain himself any longer. He doesn't need to opens his eyes to know that the other male is smirking, smirking against his skin, because of his reaction and everything is feeling too dazzling for Gouenji right now to even feel embarrassed since Robert is finally closing his lips around the tip of his member and is taking him in. Inch by inch, slowly devouring him whole and raw. Robert's mouth is hot and slick around him, his thumbs are pressing on his thighs and – _oh_ that man has experience. Gouenji's toes are curling, he's clenching the sheets desperately in his hands that they're stiffing and starting to cramp but it's worth it. Every stroke that man makes, every swirl of his tongue and the popping sound his mouth makes every time his dick pops out. It's too much, it's all too much. Gouenji stops mid-breath, his vision goes blank as he's arching his back and throwing his head back into his neck as he comes hard in Robert's mouth. His body is quivering until he collapses flat on the mattress, panting as if he was playing an intensive match before.

Robert lets him pant and catch his breath while he wipes over his own mouth with a tissue, spitting of what remained in his mouth from Gouenji's seed into it before he tosses it in the bin. Together with the used condoms from last night and the early morning. Robert leans over him and gives him a kiss on his mouth, it tastes a little salty. "Would you fancy a shower, _Shuuji_?" Robert's hands roam over Gouenji's chest and he licks some of the remaining chocolate off his own hand. He agrees immediately; he's not letting the chance to see the man above him naked one more time slide.

Both men step into the shower, now that there's more light around them Gouenji is able to admire Robert's full body even better. His broad shoulders, toned muscles, clearly visible abs and then there's his pubic hair. It's not too wild but it's definitely there and for some reason that he can't explain Gouenji wants to kneel down and run his fingers through it. Now that he thinks about it— why wouldn't he? After the intense night they had and all the work he has done, it's only natural to return the favour. Gouenji starts with placing his hands on Robert's back, gently massaging his shoulders by squeezing and pressing with his thumbs against his skin. He can feel Robert leaning backwards a little more, that must mean that he's enjoying it. From the shoulders he runs his fingers down over the spine until he reaches his lower back. The blonde slides his arms around his waist to caress over the other man's abs, instead of moving down to the particular place he wants to feel him most, and Robert probably wants Gouenji's hands to be too; he drags his hands up over his chest until he reaches his nipples and pinches them hard. He rubs over them, squeezes them between his thumb and index finger until he can hear the older man moan and beg him to go down on him like he made Gouenji do before. But the noises he is oh so impatiently waiting for stay away. It bothers him to the core and inside his stomach he is able to feel his irritation and anger grow. _Fine,_ he'll have it his way, Gouenji _will _make Robert squirm underneath his touch. He spins the other man around and by pressing his palms on Robert's chest he forces him against the wall. The older man merely quirks a brow in curiosity as Gouenji shakily brings himself to his knees.

Robert is big, not just any size of big, he's _enormous_ and it does make him wonder how he's ever going to get him fully into his mouth. That thought fades away when he thinks of that he already had this man almost completely in this body and managed to enjoy it, there is nothing he has to worry about. "Don't be shy," Robert's voice sounds mockingly when Gouenji folds his fingers around the soft penis. It feels..._different_ like this. Robert directly notices his lover's struggle and smiles warmly. "Pretend you're stroking yourself, you've done that before, right?" Is his advice. A deep, dark blush creeps on Gouenji's cheeks, he never felt this prude before about giving a blowjob to someone, but he does as he was told and starts with gently stroking his cock. He's able to feel it growing in his hand and that gives him a slight boost of confidence, he's doing it right at least. Feeling more daring now, he circles his tongue around the tip just like he felt Robert do before. The answer from the man receiving the blowjob is a content hum. Gouenji smiles as he presses the palate of his sharp tongue flat against his length. His lips now fully close around Robert's erection and inside his mouth he can feel it throb. He draws his tongue back slowly and sucks hard around the tip, then back down until Robert's length reaches the back of his pallet this time and he can taste it all across his tongue, feel the beat of his own heart and the pulse of Robert in his mouth until he can't tell which he is anymore. Robert's hand buries itself between his wet, blonde locks, he guides Gouenji's mouth over his own cock until his nose is pressed against the man's abdomen and his dark pubic hair tickles his face. Gouenji feels the urge to gag, but fortunately Robert allows him to withdraw before that happens. The younger male looks up, feeling extremely content with himself when he sees what it's doing to the more experienced man. Gouenji licks his way back up, first the thighs, then the stomach and the chest all the way up to his neck. Robert's big hands grope his ass and spread his butt cheeks. When he feels the man's erection rubbing over his own he understands what is going to happen next. Before he knows it Robert has lifted him up, Gouenji's arms and legs wrap tightly around the taller male and by the time Robert has forced himself inside once more, this time a little smoother because he's still quite stretched from the night before and the water is serving as a lubricant, Gouenji knows it's not just a fling. He has somehow gotten himself in the position as Robert's secret lover, his toy boy, a inamoratos, and he is already loving it.

* * *

The affair between him and Robert has been active for one and a half year now it's still as exciting as the first day they started this. He buys him presents, from expensive neckties, shoes, and accessories to specially made uniforms and toys to pleasure one another with. Robert introduced him to his wife as a business companion. The connection between his job and Gouenji's position as Chairman was difficult to make, but Robert assured him that his wife would not question it. His wife, Jill, is a loving woman who travelled with him from New York to Japan; together with their daughter Sophia. She invited him over for dinner a couple of times, to which Gouenji politely agreed.

Not only does Gouenji get spoiled wit the latest technology, Robert takes him out for 'business' trips to Europe. They visited Monaco together, besides tourism Monaco also has an extensive banking sector; the reputation of the country such as tax haven contributes delightful atmosphere. In recent years, some talk of regularization in this sector, but foreigners, except French nationals, still don't have to wear off the income taxes. Robert claimed to be very interested in their economy and wanted to investigate it further. In reality, the two of them spent their days strolling over the snow white beaches and swimming in the beautiful turquoise sea. Their evenings consisted of exclusive massages and long, romantic dinners in the fanciest restaurants. A couple of weeks later he got an invitation to travel along with Robert to Barcelona, a major trading city and he was interested in doing business with them, but instead Robert introduced him to the world of gambling in the famous and very exclusive _Monte Carlo_ _Casino, _that is located on the same as their expensive _Hotel de Paris_, accompanied by _Cafe de Paris_ where they enjoyed the finest tastes of Paris. Naturally, after spending three nights in that magnificent hotel their curiosity for the cultural and artistic delights of France awakened and merely a week later the couple arrived at _Gare du Nord _and visited all the cultural heritages their travel guide book recommended.

"Oi," Gouenji opens his eyes, in front of him is dangling a beer bottle; held between two fingers, behind it two legs covered with a green fabric. "You've been spacing off all evening, where's your mind at?" The voice belongs to Fudou Akio, usually he would not be in the mood to start a casual chat with the man who stole his previous love of his life from him, but after tonight he's leaving with Robert to New York for a midweek. Nothing can ruin this blissful prospect, not even Fudou. Gouenji accepts the bottle from and brings his lips to the rim of it. "I didn't think you'd notice." He makes a sour face. Beer, that's something he hasn't consumed in months. Ever since he got himself involved with Robert he hasn't drunk anything else but the finest wines and most expensive bottles of champagne. This cheap, barely alcohol containing liquid isn't much of his linking anymore.

"You've been acting different lately, don't think Yuuto'd notice but I certainly did." _Yuuto¸ _this man using his best friend's first name makes him cringe less than he used to do, but it's still a displeasure for his ears. "And since when are _you_ paying this kind of attention to me? Don't tell me that you're bored of Kidou already." Yes, Gouenji did change, Robert made him change and he's content with the person he is today. The other man snorts. "Hell no, I ain't, but it seems _you_ are."

Gouenji's heart skips a beat in his chest, he couldn't possibly— and Kidou wouldn't. No, there is no way that Kidou told him about his confession years ago. Even though he can feel his blood rushing through his head he replies calmly: "And what is that supposed to mean?" He takes another sip of his beer, _my_ this tastes awful. He wishes he would be enjoying one of Robert's bottles right now, accompanied by him instead of this still homeless-looking man, despite he's been living together with the wealthy Kidou for years now.

"I know you've had a crush on Yuuto since you were like fourteen."

Gouenji is trying his best to not spit the beer he's holding in his mouth over the man next to him, although he'd love to, and remain the unreadable expression on his face but it's too late; Fudou saw right through him. "I might have fancied your boyfriend for a while, but what does that have anything to do with the situation we're in now?"

"Could you cut the crap already? What on bloody earth is going on with you. You dress differently, you speak differently and your acts, I ain't recognising you at all anymore with your designer clothes and stupid shoes. Dontcha think we'd notice you have new clothes like this almost every month? And not to speak of those watches and belts for every outfit and your new _iPhone 6_."

Gouenji tugs with his finger on his own collar, the heath his rising underneath his feet and he shifts uncomfortably on the couch. "My taste has indeed changed over the past year, can you blame a man for experimenting with a new life style?"

"No, you can't, but you need money for that." Fudou twists his body so he can look Gouenji right in the eye. "Tell me, Shuuya, are you dealing drugs?"

To that, Gouenji bursts out in laughter. Had he feared just now that his cover was totally blown, he should have known a man as simple minded as Fudou Akio would never be able to find out the truth. "Oh Fudou," he starts once his laughter subsided. "there is still so much you need to learn about the real world, not everything contains of drugs and other illegal paths to walk your life on. If this is what you or Kidou, or anyone else is worried about then you can now ease your hearts. No, I am not involved with drugs."

Fudou squints his eyes suspiciously but the way his shoulders relax tell him that he apparently trusts Gouenji on his word. "Is that all?" He asks.

"Yeah," Fudou shrugs and turns his face to his boyfriend on the other side of the room; intensely discussing new techniques and formations with Endou. "Suppose that's it." Fudou rises from his seat and dusts off his hands on his green trousers. "Thank you for the beer." Gouenji raises his bottle to him. The brunette smiles and just when he's about to leave the other alone for the night Gouenji's phone vibrates on the coffee table in front of the two men. Gouenji can see that Fudou is eying his phone and he knows it's over now, because he was foolish enough to add a little, red heart behind Robert's name. "Robert?" Fudou smirks. "Who's that?" Gouenji rapidly grabs his phone from the table and stuffs it into his pocket before the man with a grin as if he just won the lottery can read the content of the text message Robert sent him. Gouenji sighs deeply; he might as well tell him now because honestly, he'd like to rub his affaire into his face like they did half a year ago and make that insufferable grin of him disappear. "If you want to know so badly, that's my boyfriend."

Instead of being surprised, Fudou's mischievous smirk only grows wider. The brunette places his hands on his hips and leans in to the confidence losing man. "So that's how it is. The Chairman found himself a pimp."

"_Excuse me?!"_ Gouenji can feel the anger rise from within him, how dare he offend Robert like that.

"You know what I mean." Fudou clicks with his tongue. "He's buying you presents, taking you on various trips and tells 'ya everything you wanna hear. You fall in love and you're prepared to do _anything _for your sugar daddy."

"Sounds familiar?" Gouenji sinks back into the cushions of the couch, pretending to be unimpressed by his words. He would never doubt Robert's intentions.

"Then suddenly the old man needs money, he's deep in debt 'cause of all the expensive presents he bought you. You can't return the used tie and the slightly damaged shoes, the watch is already worn out and he can't sell an _iPhone_ with a little crack. But that doesn't matter," Fudou's grinning like a maniac at this moment, explaining his theory like he's _Sherlock Holmes _himself, but even more self-righteous and complacent than they portray him on the _BBC series._ "It doesn't matter 'cause he knows how you can easily drop the debt."

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." He growls, but it only makes Fudou's amusement grow.

"Of course, he first tells you that he'd never want to put you in that position, but as the days pass his desperation for money increases, together with your guilt. You sleep with other men and he assures you it's just this once, but before you know it you're in Amsterdam; selling your own body behind the windows."

"That's enough!" Gouenji jolts up, grabbing his former teammate by his collar and ready to land his fist on his jaw. If words won't make that smug grin vanish then he'll have to use brute force. "Oi," Fudou places his palms on Gouenji's chest and gives him a soft push backwards; causing the blonde to fall back on the couch. "it was just a theory, no need to get so worked up 'bout it." His brow raises amusedly and he can't help but add: "Unless you recognise yourself in it?"

Gouenji, who doesn't want to raise the other's suspicion grabs Fudou's sleeve and forces him to sit next to him on the sofa. "If I tell you the whole story, will you shut the fuck up?"

Fudou simply smiles, pretty damn content with himself. "There's the Gouenji Shuuya _I _know."

Gouenji confesses everything to the man next to him. How he felt when Kidou rejected him, what he had to go through when Kidou and Fudou admitted their relationship together and how he met Robert that night. He tells him about how they've been doing this for eighteen months now, he tells him about the presents and the business trips and how he's certain that Robert would never do something like that to him. Fudou is still a little suspicious of him at the end of the story, but he did listen quietly without making fun of Gouenji, and honestly the blonde feels a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. He never spoke with anyone about this matter before, it always has to be in secret while Gouenji is dying to share how in love and happy he is. Fudou listens to his stories, their various trips to Europe and the nerves Gouenji felt the first time he met Robert's wife.

"So, you're dating a married man?"

Gouenji nods slowly while playing with the silver ring around his finger; a symbol of their love. He let it come all the way from Germany, it has cost him quite a sum of money but he explained that Gouenji was worth it, and he had never taken it off ever since he gave it to him to celebrate their one year anniversary. "I am, but he's unhappy in his marriage. They already divorced once, but when Robert told her he would be moving to Japan and fight for the custody over their child if they had to they decided to try it again. They remarried later, here in Japan, but for him it was just to make their daughter happy. He doesn't feel anything for his wife anymore." Gouenji feels like he has to defend himself, and he doesn't like it at all.

"Dontcha feel guilt or shame whenever she invites you over? The loving wife is having dinner with her husband's young lover. Her replacement."

Gouenji hesitates before he answers. "No, I don't. Their love died long ago, they sleep in separate bedrooms and there is no physical contact between the two of them. Robert is trapped in his marriage and I make him happy, and I'm indenting to do that for a very long time."

He expected a preach about how what he's doing is wrong and he should date a man his own age, but he almost forgot he's talking to Fudou here. "Sure, whatever floats your boat." He shrugs. "Yuuto and I kept our relationship a secret too for a long while. Might have been a different situation, but I wouldn't have done it any other way if I had to do it over." Gouenji almost can't believe what he's hearing, Fudou is approving his relationship with Robert, in his own way— but he doesn't think any differently of him. Gouenji had always feared the reaction and judgement of his friends, but maybe he shouldn't be so dubious of what they would think of him. They're his best, and closest friends after all. Maybe they deserve a little more trust. "Thank you, Fudou. I mean it."

"Eh," Fudou rolls with his eyes and gets up once again, before he leaves he turns to Gouenji. "if you ever need help or anything, I'm willing to listen. Yuuto would too. Good luck." Fudou just confirmed for him what Gouenji was just thinking about. Not now and especially not tonight, but maybe sooner than he thought; he could tell them about his affaire.

* * *

Gouenji shuts the car door of his brand new, red _Aston_ _Martin_ _Vanquish._ It's a car from Robert's company and Gouenji is 'borrowing' it. He gave Gouenji the keys and told him he's free to use it whenever he wants, and of course gratefully makes use of his opportunity. Gouenji shows the porter his visitors card, although he already recognises Gouenji by now and he hardly needs to show it these days, and presses the button for the 24th floor. Robert has a break and asked Gouenji to come over. He opens his office door with a smirk.

"The USP mailman is here for a certain Robert Quinn?"

Robert smiles when he hears his lover's voice and leans back on his office chair. "I don't recall ordering something?" Gouenji approaches the older man and walks around his desk while Robert turns his chair to him. The blonde places his hands on the arm rests of the chair and leans in to the other male. "I am here to deliver a special package." A sly smirk curls on Robert's lips as he brushes his hand up over Gouenji's thigh while remaining eye contact with him. "And I see that you're carrying my mirror around?"

Robert, getting used to Gouenji's pickup lines moves his hands up to Gouenji's hips. "I am?" He asks while he draws him closer so the younger male ends up sitting on his lap. Gouenji nudges the tips of their noses together and ghosts over Robert's lips while speaking. "Yes, because I can see myself in your pants." Robert laughs and greets him with a warm kiss. "I'm glad you could make it." He murmurs while nuzzling in the crook of Gouenji's neck. "Hmm, your perfume makes me react like Pavlov's dog." He guides Gouenji's hand to his own crotch. "I've been waiting for you."

Gouenji immediately understands what this means and lets himself slide off his partner's lap onto the floor, right underneath his desk. His hands are resting on Robert's thighs before he spreads his legs and kisses the front of his trousers. "Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I want to split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle." He mutters against the fabric while his fingers are eagerly reaching out for the zipper.

With a firm grip, Gouenji pulled the older male's semi-hard cock from his underwear, grinning at the sight. He has done this more often than he can count, but seeing Robert getting turned on from just the thought of him still amuses him and makes him feel special. Gouenji's breath brushes over Robert's member and causes the owner to shudder, his gaze slowly turning into lust. Robert almost groaned at the heat and wetness of Gouenji's tongue as it brushed over the sensitive skin. He sucks gently on the tip and gets awarded with a quiet groan from the gray male. He glances up at the other, the blonde bangs tickling the other male's skin. He lowers his gaze back down and moves his hand to grip the base of Robert's shaft, stroking it gently before beginning to pump it at a slow pace as his mouth worked his way around the it. He circles his tongue over the head, his salvia leaving the skin glossy. With a pop, he pulled his mouth off the tip a, knowing that Robert enjoys the feeling and sound of it, and he drags his tongue down over the length, licking the skin eagerly. He is able to feel Robert becoming harder within his grip. Kissing his way back to the end with the occasional suck here and there.

He slowly quickens the pace of his pumps over the base of Robert's cock, liking the head a few more times before finally taking it back into his mouth. Robert groans quietly once more that the welcoming heat, his hand finding its way around the back of Gouenji's head and fingers running through Gouenji's hair. He presses him down slightly, wanting the blonde to take him in more. He complies and slowly slides his mouth down further, getting about halfway before stopping. Someone is knocking on the door.

"Come in."

Gouenji is stunned and withdraws himself, this time without the popping sound so he won't reveal himself. "Sir, I am well aware that you are having a break but this is urgent and needs your attention."

"Of course, I was thinking about going back to work anyway. Take a seat and we'll discuss it."

"Thank you, sir." Gouenji can hear the footsteps of the young male approaching and he takes a seat on the other side of Robert's desk. He holds his breath, well aware of how close the other man is, one wrong move from his side and he could find out what is going on underneath his boss' desk. Then Gouenji feels a soft nudge on his side, Robert is pressing with his shoe against his body. Gouenji looks up, trying to meet his eyes, but the other man is fixated on the documents in front of him. "Please continue." He tells his employee, and another nudge with his foot follows.

Gouenji gets the hint. He moves back up again with his mouth just over the head before pushing back down. He repeats his actions, bobbing his head over the other male's length, dragging his tongue over the hot skin and sucking the tip when he pulls back. He can feel his own erection pressing against the tight fabric, demanding some attention as well. Sucking off your boyfriend in secret with someone else in the room is certainly a turn on and as blunt as Gouenji is; he guides Robert's foot to his crotch. The other man understands what he has to do, it's quid pro quo. Robert's voice doesn't even quirk when Gouenji gives a hard suck on the tip, but he however can't suppress a muffed sound with Robert's dick in his mouth when the older man presses a little harder against his crotch. He groans as he moves his hand off Robert's shaft, letting out a slow breath as he takes in more of the length, trying his best to relax and forget about the foot pressing against his rock hard erection. He gently lays his hands on the other male's thighs and bobs his head a couple of times over his length before taking in more. When Robert moves the tip of his shoe over Gouenji's crotch, he lets a moan vibrate through the man's cock, and he gets rewarded with a quiet groan from the older man. He rolls his tongue over the tip and laps at the pre-cum that spills from the split before taking Robert's cock back into his mouth, deep-throating him with more ease this time.

"And that would be all?" Robert's voice does have a quiver this time and it makes Gouenji smile proudly. He has Robert in control, with a simple flick with his tongue he can dominate the man and bring him down to his knees if he wanted to.

"Yes, sir. Thank you for your time." Gouenji hears papers rustling, a chair being shoved back and shortly after the closing of the door. He pulls back and lets out a long breath, finally, but Robert, who is close to his climax, doesn't grand his lover a break. His free hand moves underneath the desk to push Gouenji completely over his member this time.

"Shit," the man hisses quietly as Gouenji moves faster, his actions are beginning to drive Robert crazy. At his limits, Robert sits up a bit more and grabs Gouenji's head forcefully, thrusting his hips forward. Gouenji gags in surprise, gripping the other male's pants tightly as the older man moves in and out of his mouth at a semi-fast pace, his hips thrusting fully forward each time. Just as Gouenji begins to think that he can't take much more of the taller man's driving his cock down his throat, he feels Robert's hot semen gush down his throat.

Gouenji pulls back, the cum spilling over his tongue as Robert is sinking back on his chair, letting out a loud sigh of satisfaction. Gouenji rises shortly after from his position on the floor, only to receive a kiss from his content lover. "Shuuya, we need to talk." Gouenji flinches subconsciously, usually Robert refrains from using his first name and sticks to the name he wore as the Holy Emperor. He guides his lover to sit on his desk and rests one of his hands on Gouenji's thigh. "My wife found out about us, or rather, she knows that I'm having an affair. Right now she's suspecting my secretary, not you."

Gouenji isn't sure what he's feeling right now. Shock, because his wife found out, relief because she doesn't know it is him, and fear. The fear of losing Robert. "And now?" He asks, his voice a little shaky.

"She is threatening me with a divorce, unless I come clean to her and admit my mistake. Then there could be a chance that she would forgive me and we could stay together. Naturally, a man would choose for his family. I have a daughter to take care of, after all and it would only be fair to tell my wife the truth."

Gouenji feels his heart sink inside his chest and he's certain that the disappointment and heartbreak is written all over his chest. He should have listened to Fudou and stick to a man of his own age, but it's too late to go over that now. Gouenji is already too deeply in love with this man to shrug this whole affair off and continue with his life. Maybe he should have realised sooner that it was never meant to be between the two of them. There had never been anything special, Gouenji was Robert's escape from his awful marriage, but when it comes down to it; he will stay loyal to his wife. How could he have been so naive to think that this could have turned in to something serious?

"But that's not what I want." Gouenji looks up, how he was unable to look the other man in the eye first, now he's staring directly into his deep, blue eyes. "I want you, Shuuji." Robert slides his arm around the blonde's waist and draws him closer. "Would you like to be more than just my secret lover?"

"I...I don't ...," Gouenji he stumbles over his words. "I don't understand. What about Sophia?"

Robert brings his hand up and caresses Gouenji's cheek with the back of his hand. "Sophia is almost eighteen. It will be painful for her, but eventually she'll understand. I am sure that she has sensed that there is no romance left between her parents. A divorce between the two people you love is never easy to go through, but I have been living in a lie for almost eighteen years too. You make me the happiest man and you brought the light in my life back, something I thought I lost many, many years ago. I can't lie anymore, Shuuji. I am in love with you."

"Robert..." Gouenji is overwhelmed with emotion, he is feeling like a character in an unbelievably romantic and unrealistic _fanfiction_, but it makes him more than happy. He wraps his arms around Robert's neck and gives him a long kiss on his lips. "I love you too."

Having that said, he sealed their relationship with a kiss, and afterwards they had another round on Robert's desk until he had to go back to work. By the time Gouenji stepped inside his _Aston Martin_ again, there had been a smile on his face similar to a child's on Christmas morning.

* * *

Gouenji takes a sip from his champagne glass, he's in the same pub as where it all started. The pub where Kidou celebrated his anniversary with Fudou after confessing they had been in a relationship for years, and where Gouenji met his own partner; Robert.

"Are you having fun, love?" An arm slides around his waist and a kiss is pressed against his temple. Gouenji greets the man with a smile. "I am, what about you?"

"Your friend Kidou is definitely a go-getter, exactly like you described." Gouenji chuckles and places his hand on his boyfriend's chest. "If you need help, give me a sign. I'll try to make time for you." He grins cheekily. "Thank you, but that won't be necessary." Robert grins back at the shorter male. "I can handle him. If you'd excuse me now. I told him I'd be getting a drink for the both of us, and then I'd be right back."

"Good luck, tiger. Show him your best side!" Gouenji yells after him.

"I must say I'm surprised." Gouenji doesn't necessarily need to turn around to know who said that. "I'll take that as a compliment." He smiles at the brunette.

"You should, it definitely is one. I might go get myself a 'Robert' too in a couple of years." Fudou smirks. "Or maybe I'll become one."

"You'll need more money for that." The both males laugh and Fudou punches the blonde's shoulder and snickers. "Did you see Yuuto's jaw drop when you introduced him as your boyfriend?"

"I certainly did, do you think he is jealous?"

"Can't you see, his goggles are green with envy." Gouenji shakes his head while laughing and turns his face to see how his boyfriend is doing. Kidou has been questioning him ever since he got the chance to speak with him in private. "I guess I was wrong 'bout your sugar daddy." Fudou snorts. "He seems like a nice man, and seeing the look in his eyes whenever he looks at you, I'm quite sure he's not just gonna run off with someone younger than you."

Gouenji gives the snickering brunette a nudge against his side with his elbow. "Thank you Fudou, I appreciate it."

"Alright, that's as far as I can go with my compliments. I'm gonna take a leak now. I'll text you later with what Yuuto thinks of him." And the brunette disappears into the crowd.

But apparently a text from his former teammate won't be necessary, because around the end of the night Kidou approaches him and asks him if they can speak somewhere more privately.

Gouenji deeply inhales the cold, fresh air once they get outside. Neither of them knows how to start and it makes him realise that they haven't spoken to each other without at least one of their friends around in a long time. That suddenly saddens him, but his feeling of curiosity is too strong to ruin his mood. "What do you think of him?"

"He..." Kidou shoves his hands in the pockets of his coat and purses his lips before he continues. "He seems like a good man."

Gouenji lets out a clearly audible sigh of relief. "You have no idea how glad I am to hear that coming from you." Kidou smiles faintly. "Of course, I was a little surprised at first. I hadn't imagined that your boyfriend would be this..."

"Old?"

"...I was going to say mature." They both laugh, finally, the ice is broken and the heavy atmosphere between them is gone. "You might learn a thing or two from him."

"Believe me," A smirk curls on Gouenji's lips. "I already have." Suddenly, Kidou places a hand on Gouenji's shoulder and looks him directly in the eye. "If he makes you happy, then I am happy for you too. You deserve it." He's not sure what they're doing but somehow the two men find themselves in a tight embrace with each other. Gouenji clutches the fabric of Kidou's blazer in his hands and he can feel Kidou's arms wrap tightly around his waist. They haven't had any physical contact in years, ever since Gouenji's confession things hadn't been the same between them, but that is slowly changing now. They are both accepting how their past has brought them here together tonight, and Gouenji wouldn't have want it any other way.

"So, I suppose you're truly over me now?" Kidou asks when they both withdraw from the hug.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"Good." Kidou smiles at the slightly taller man and at the same time they reach out to each other. With their arms tightly wrapped around each other's side, the both of them return inside to be reunited with their partners again.


	2. Chapter 2

**My dear, beloved Heather. You have had a tough week and honestly, I felt really helpless as I was unable to do anything for you. I wish I could have held you in my arms for a tight embrace, or just call you. Antying. When we were talking about Kidou and Gouenji being fluffy and cuddly instead, suddenly Robert popped up and I knew how I could brighten your mood a little. I can promise you now that I didn't include any heartbreaking fights, break ups or anything close to that. I want you to feel happy again, and now that Stan is recovering, I hope this will make you smile too (and cry a little, sorry!). **

**I love you,**

**Angel**

* * *

Gouenji rubs with the palms of his hands over his burning eyes, he's exhausted. He has been doing quite some overtime the past couple of weeks. Ever since Bitway Ozrock came down to Earth from space and told him about the Grand Celesta Galaxy tournament Gouenji hasn't had a moment of rest. Bitway said to Gouenji that Earth needed to find a team that could participate in the tournament, otherwise he would seal Earth away; in which he proved he could do, as he sealed the moon with just a soccer ball. Gouenji had no idea why this boy, who must be around the age of fifteen in Earth years, came to him instead of the president, and why Japan? But he decided that he shouldn't question it, the fastest way to deal with this matter was to assign someone to do the job of collecting these players for him. That person was no-one else than Kuroiwa Ryuusei. Kuroiwa then created the Football Frontier International Vision 2 to gather the best players that could be able to defeat the aliens, and that team would carry the name Inazuma Japan.

If he would have known that giving this task to Kuroiwa would give him this much trouble, he would have assigned someone else to do it for him, but sometimes decisions have to be made quickly. He now often finds himself chatting with Shindou Takuto, and the coach for Inazuma Japan. Shindou had to give him a piece of his mind and tell Gouenji that his coach Kuroiwa Ryuusei, was doing a bad job as their coach, for example they only have eleven players, in which he thinks they should have sixteen, 5 as subs in-case someone was to get injured. But Gouenji brushed it off, this spoiled, rich boy should learn that not everything can be arranged according to what he wants. He should just trusts Kuroiwa.

When he thought he handled that well, thee vice-coach came in, in an angry mood. He also could not understand why Kuroiwa has been selected as the coach of Inazuma Japan, and told him that if Kuroiwa carries on, he is going to try and take over the soccer world again. Gouenji told him the same as he had told the teen earlier, he has no intentions in changing the coach because Kuroiwa knows in every detail, "both darkness and light" of soccer. He will be able to lead Inazuma Japan to victory.

But whining team members and displeased coaches are not Gouenji's only trouble, aside from them, there is the media; questioning Gouenji's decisions. A brand new team with unknown and unskilled members, how will those eleven players be able to represent Japan? Who will even want to watch their matches, every other country will make fun of Japan. With half of the population trying to sue him, and the pressure of another alien threatening to destroy their planet, Gouenji doesn't know what he'll do the next time Shindou or anyone else enters his office with another complaint.

"Shuuya?" There's a brief knock on his door before it opens and in the dimmed light coming from the lamp on his desk he can see Robert's silhouette in the doorway. When has it gotten so dark outside? Gouenji glances at the time on his laptop, it passed eight already. He hasn't even had dinner yet, or lunch. "Robert," he smiles, shoving his chair backwards. "what brings you here?"

"I am here to take you home."

"Ah," Gouenji smiles faintly at his boyfriend. "that sounds lovely, but I can't yet. There's still so much I have to do. I can't leave now."

"Yes, the soccer managing thing. Please, do not get me wrong, I understand you, but it's also because I understand that I am here. Tell me Shuuya, when was the last time you had dinner with me, at home?" Gouenji has no answer to that. Robert sighs and heads over to the blonde's desk, gently shutting his laptop with his hand. "You are coming with me, and that's final."

After the divorce, Robert has become an integral part of his life. The offer to start living together followed quickly, perhaps a little too fast for Gouenji, even. His friends gave him their full support, but he hadn't even told his father when Robert suggested it. Thankfully, Robert understood what was troubling his boyfriend. If his father had been still alive, he would have liked his approval first too. Gouenji waited long to find the right moment to tell his father, but then suddenly he got an invitation to have a family dinner together. The family dinner would consist of his father, his little sister, his step brother Toramaru, and his father's new lover, Utsunomiya Tae. While they were following the FFI finale in Raimon's gym his father had been sitting next to the youngest forward of the team's mother. His father, a quiet man, hadn't said a word during the match, but when the sound of the last whistle was audible through the silent room he jumped in full enthusiasm together with the other friends and family members. That's what Yuuka told him. When he saw the tears in the eyes of Toramaru's mother he gave her politely his handkerchief to dry her tears. Very romantic. That's how they got in touch. Nashimoto Nonomi, as cheerful and bold as she is, invited everyone in the room to celebrate the victory of Inazuma Japan. Naturally, his father protested, he isn't very fond of events, but Nonomi charmed her way into convincing him to join them for dinner at least. He was reticent all night, but the food had been sublime and was beyond his expectations so he asked Nonomi to give his compliments to the cook. The girl rushed off and returned a little later with the woman who had been sitting next to him during the match.

"This is her, sir! The start cook of the night!"

Dr. Gouenji gave her his compliments and gradually they started talking about her cooking skills, the restaurant and their sons. "This is very impressive," the doctor smiled. "are you always alone in the kitchen or does your husband help out too on nights like this?"

Toramaru's mother smiled faintly in return. "Toramaru's father passed away many years ago. I've been running the business alone ever since."

"I am sorry to hear that." The tanned man paused, his eyes scanning the room until he finds his daughter. "I lost my wife too when my kids were still young."

From that point the conversation took a more serious turn. They talked about how tough it is as single parent, the disease Toramaru's mother that makes it difficult to run this place alone, and Yuuka's coma. Eventually Yuuka crawled on her father's lap and exclaimed that she was tired. Dr. Gouenji excused himself while lifting his young daughter on his arm. "If you have the time please come by again." Utsunomiya suggested. "You are always welcome."

"We certainly will visit again."

Despite her fatigue Yuuka was very enthusiastic. Once she's all settled on her seat in the car she mumbled that she would not mind to have her as a new mother. She is so sweet to her.

Ever since that night Dr. Gouenji took his family out for dinner more frequently. Katsuya even took over the earlier shifts in the hospital so he could volunteer at the restaurant to help Utsunmomiya out on busy nights or in the weekends. And finally, after long deliberation and procrastination, Gouenji Katsuya asked her on a date. Toramaru's mother protested first, but when her son and Nonomi assured her the restaurant would be fine one night without her she agreed to it.

The two of them saw each other more often after that date, he saw his father flourish and it warmed Gouenji's heart to see his father finally smiling again. Not only Gouenji's father seemed to be full of energy, Utsunmomiya Tae herself was full of life again. One time, during dinner with the whole family, Yuuka accidently called her "mama". They had all been quiet, Toramaru's eyes on his mother, while Gouenji's own trailed towards his father's expression. He simply smiled and stroked over his daughter's hair.

Later that night, when Yuuka went to bed and the two boys were playing games in Gouenji's room, Dr. Gouenji brought something up for discussion he never thought he would again. "Yuuka is already very attached to you, and our sons get along very well. What would you think of living together?"

"Katsuya, I— I don't know. You're overwhelming me a little."

He held Tae's hands in his and gave them a soft squeeze. "Why not? You told me about your dreams of staying at home and having less responsibility. I will support the restaurant, we will hire someone to cook and you can personally train them. Let me do this for you, together with you. So long there has been emptiness in my life since my wife passed away, but I finally feel complete again. We have both endured a tough period of time, we should leave that all behind. Please, Tae, come live with me."

Of course, that was easier said than done. Toramaru and his mother couldn't just come live with them, their apartment was too small for that, thus they moved to a bigger home. Yuuka was very content, she was getting a bigger room. Toramaru, on the other hand, found it rather difficult to leave his old place, and especially the restaurant behind. But once the new cook his mother picked personally reassured him that he's always welcome to help out he felt a little more enthusiastic about living together with the Gouenji-family too. And it's been like this for nine years now.

Gouenji rests the side of his head against the car window and watches Robert while he is driving. It has been eight months since the restaurant got restyled and his father arranged another one of their family dinners. They hadn't seen each other in a very long time, partly because Gouenji was avoiding his father. He had been travelling around the world with Robert a lot the first year of their relationship, and now with his position as chairman he managed to procrastinate it a little further, but he could not cancel the dinner appointments any longer now. He owed it to his family too. His sister and Toramaru were informed the same evening he told Kidou and the rest of his friends about his relationship with Robert. Now only his father was left. After discussing the matter with Robert he couldn't back down anymore. He had been very positive about the idea of admitting their relationship during the dinner. He would love to meet his boyfriend's family finally too. There was no way out anymore.

* * *

Gouenji is walking stressfully through his bedroom, he can't find the neck tie he wanted to wear, his hair is a mess and _oh_ the drama. "Robert! We can't go! I can't do this, I _need _ to wear that tie. It fits perfectly with this belt we bought on an Indian market, and I can't change the belt because then I'd have to change the whole suit. We can't go."

Robert enters the room and gently slides his arms around his stressed boyfriend's waist. "Easy there, tiger." He moves his hands towards Gouenji's neck and pops up his collar so he can put the tie around his neck. "I got it right here. I made sure to lay it out yesterday so it would be easier for you to find." He turns the blonde so he can look him in his chocolate brown eyes. "You weren't this nervous when you sucked my cock underneath my desk during a conference call with one of the biggest companies of Japan, so why now?"

"This is something entirely different, I am about to tell my father that his son is a homosexual , and on top of that, he's dating an older man not much younger than himself." He walks past his boyfriend towards the large mirror in their room.

"You aren't ashamed of me now, are you?"

"What?" Gouenji looks up from his own reflection and actually stops trying to fix his hair. "No, of course I am not."

"You supported your father when he got into a new relationship. Not every man would be like that when their father would have someone new after their mother passed away. You've been a good son to him. I am sure he will accept you too." Robert's hands rub over Gouenji's upper arms and he smiles at him through the reflection of the mirror. "Thank you, Robert."

"Your hair looks terrible, though." He says, while ruffling through it with his hand.

"GET OUT!" Is the last thing Robert hears before he quickly shuts the door and one of Gouenji's shoes bangs against the wood.

* * *

"Shuuya, I am so glad you could make it." His father greets him with a smile. "You look good, especially without those filthy, green locks in your hair."

"Thank you, father." He has learned to cope with his father's way to compliment him. "I want you to meet someone. Dad, this is Robert. My... business companion."

"I see. It's nice to meet you Robert."

"Likewise, sir. I've heard many great things about you." He holds Gouenji's father's hand, to which his traditional father quirks a brow. "He's from America," Gouenji tries to explain his behaviour. Robert laughs gently and firmly shakes Dr. Gouenji's hand. "Old habits die hard, I suppose."

"Yes, that makes sense." He nods, but he seems to be eager to have his hand back once Robert lets go. "When you said you were bringing someone I expected...someone else." His father looks at the taller man from head to toe. "Either way, the table is ready. Shall we?" Without waiting for a reply from either of them he turns away from Gouenji and Robert. Once he's out of sight the panic takes over Gouenji and he is almost leaving the restaurant, but Robert grabs him by his arm before he could do so. "Where are you going? I believe your father said the table is the other way."

"I can't do this, Robert! I told you, I can't! You saw the disappointed look on his face, he was expecting me to bring a girl, my partner. He is never going to accept me the way I am, it's best to just leave now while I still have some dignity, and two functioning eyes."

"Your father is not going to beat you, Shuuya." Robert murmurs in Gouenji's ear while rubbing comfortingly over his boyfriend's back. "And you did bring your partner with you. Your father just doesn't know it yet. I'm certain he'll take his words back once he realises what I mean to you." His hand reaches up to brush a stray hair lock out of Gouenji's face and gives him a warm smile. "I love you, Shuuji." A deep, dark blush creeps on Gouenji's cheeks, quickly averting his gaze from the taller man who knows to convince him by making use of his weak spots.

"Nii-san!" Gouenji smiles nervously at the approaching boy. The switch between 'Gouenji-san' and 'Shuuya' had been too difficult for him, so it quickly developed into this. Gouenji still hasn't figured out yet how he feels about Toramaru addressing him this way, but he hasn't corrected him either, at this point they have gone too far for Gouenji to suddenly start protesting. Toramaru has grown used to it, but Gouenji doubts he ever will. "Are you going to tell him today?" He smiles enthusiastically at Robert.

"He is, I am hopefully officially getting welcomed into the family today." Robert wraps his arm around Gouenji, who was quietly trying to vanish behind his boyfriend's large body. "Good luck, Nii-san!" Toramaru's broad grin works encouraging on him. He might actually be able to do this after all.

The dinner proceeds surprisingly well, in no time Robert managed to win his father over with his charm and deep conversations about the places he has seen during his travelling. Gouenji discovers that before he was born his mother and father travelled around the world to help those in need with medical help. The pregnancy of his mother had been a miracle to the both of them. Dr. Gouenji candidly told them how the matriarch from the Australian tribe explained to them by using hands and feet that Gouenji's mother was pregnant. She could even tell how long and the gender. Katsuya had never felt prouder in his life than when he heard he was about to become a father of a boy. The pair travelled back to Japan shortly after, even though the kind, local people gave all the support they would need; they wanted their baby to be born at the place they could call home. Dr. Gouenji started working in the Inazuma Hospital and his wife would stay at home with the baby. It was the first time Gouenji heard about all of this, his father had never been this outspoken since their mother passed away. Tae changed his father in a good way over the years.

After the main course his father rises and gently taps this glass to draw the attention. "Before we move on to the dessert, I'd like to say something. It has been a long time since the family has been together like this," Dr. Gouenji's eyes rest on Robert and Gouenji feels a wave of nausea coming up. "I would like to use this special occasion to do an announcement." He rests his hand on the shoulder of the woman who is sitting next to him. "Tae and I have been together for nearly ten years now, and it's thanks to you, Shuuya and Toramaru, that we met. If you would not have given everything you had to get to the finale and win this tournament than I wouldn't have got to know this wonderful woman. We are very grateful for that. But as the years pass by we are not getting younger, and I have gotten a little too old to introduce her as my girlfriend. I want to be able to call her my wife, and soon I will, because we are getting married."

The first one to react is his little sister, who immediately jumps up from her seat and glomps her father and step-mother. She is already cackling about the wedding, the dress, and of course her dress as the maid of honour. Robert squeezes gently on his boyfriend's knee. Gouenji had been thinking about it too, but the nerves left him frozen on his seat, at the same time he realises that he will never get a better opportunity than this. He congratulates the couple before he nervously clears his throat.

"I have to tell you something important too." All the eyes are focussed on him, Yuuka gives him a thumbs up, hidden from the sight of their father. It's now or never, but honestly, he'd rather choose the 'never'. He wishes he would be at home with Robert, or dealing with whatever is waiting for him on his desk when he returns to his work tomorrow morning. He'd rather be anywhere but here, but this is happening right now and he has already taken the first step. There is no way out of this. "There is a reason I brought Robert with me to the family dinner. He is not my business partner." He pauses, he can feel this father's dark, piercing eyes on him and it's like they're telling him that if he'll say something that displeases him he'll banish him from his life. Robert's hand brushes supporting over his leg and it reminds him that he'll have to continue. It wouldn't matter what happens next, he will still have Robert, he still has his friends and little sister. It would just be nice to have his father on his side too. "He is my boyfriend."

There's a long silence. The youngest ones on the table are waiting in suspense, Robert seems to be calm however. All the eyes are focussed on Gouenji's father. "This man?" He says eventually. "He is barely ten years younger than I am. What makes you think—"

"I am very happy for you." Everyone's faces turn to the woman next to his father. "I am glad you finally brought up the courage to tell us. It is very brave of you." Gouenji and Toramaru exchange a look, has he told her? But his step-brother shakes his head. "Oh, nobody needed to tell me that," Utsunmomiya chuckles softly. "I am a mother, they notice such things. I have known you for a very long time now, Shuuya. I could tell. And the way Robert looks at you is exactly how your father looks at me when he thinks I can't see it. He cares a lot for you, more than any normal friend or business companion would usually do." She smiles warmly at the couple across the table.

"Thank you, mother." Gouenji nods gratefully. Would his own mother have seen this too? She probably would have, it's nice to experience it. He has never had this bond with his own mother, she deceased before he realised how much she meant to him. Gouenji turns to his father. "I understand that this must be difficult for you, but this is my decision. I love this man. I am not asking for you to understand, I am asking for your approbation and support. Robert makes me happier than anyone has ever made me feel in my entire life."

Dr. Gouenji seems to be struggling, eventually, he gets up from his chair. Gouenji fears that he is walking away and this would be the end of their father-son relationship. "Come here, Shuuya." While his father's voice is stern and steady, Gouenji himself is trembling in his shoes. Even though Gouenji and his father are almost the same height and he doesn't need to look up anymore to look his father in the eye; Gouenji feels so much smaller and intimidated in his presence.

"You are aware that I am a traditional man, and if you would have told me this years ago; I can't say how my reaction would have been. I don't think I would have been happy with your decision to start seeing men instead of women, as you know I have always wanted you to start a family with your career. But since I have Tae in my life, I am a changed man, so you should be grateful towards her for this too. She lets me see that your happiness is my first priority. If this man makes you feel the same way as I feel when I see my future wife, then I hope you will never leave this man. I will have to get used to my son going out with a man, a man who is half your own age, but you have my full support, Shuuya."

"Father..."

His father embraces him. For the first time in a long time his father is holding Gouenji in his arms. Gouenji can feel the tears burning behind his eyes hand holds tightly onto the man whom he seeks approval from so desperately all his life. When he lets go his father turns towards Robert. "I will leave him in your hands, I hope you will give him the happiness he deserves."

"And more than that, sir. You have my word."

* * *

"Shuuya? Shuuya!" Robert is shaking him gently. He must have dozed off during their ride home. "We have arrived, I'll help you out."

After Gouenji told his father the news he felt relieved, while his father and Tae were making wedding arrangements; Gouenji and Robert were looking for houses together. Gouenji felt finally ready to take the next step in their relationship. One night Robert returned home with a stack of papers as surprise. Gouenji wasn't quite sure what to think, usually Robert's surprises meant a variation of toys they could use in the bedroom, but then he saw the content of the file. A beautiful house, located in a quiet neighbourhood, a drivable distance for both of their offices, and everything they could wish for. It has a huge kitchen for Robert to experiment in, and a large bedroom that would allow the two males to experiment together in the dark, a luxurious bathroom and an extra room for Robert's daughter. They didn't have to think long about the decision and moved in as fast as possible. They sold Gouenji's apartment to Toramaru for a family price, and Robert's rented penthouse was no problem. Within two months they were all settled in.

Gouenji lets himself sink into the warm water between his boyfriend's legs. The man behind him caresses lovingly over the blonde's arms until he reaches his hands and guides them to rest on Gouenji's stomach. They are sitting like this for a while silence, the lights dimmed and Robert lightened a few candles to create a romantic atmosphere. "I love you, Shuuji." He mutters against Gouenji's temple. It sends a pleasant quiver all the way down over his spine. He slowly guides Robert's hands further down until he reaches his thighs, but Robert resists and gently places them back on his boyfriend's abdomen. "No pressure tonight." He kisses Gouenji's shoulder. "You have had a tough week, let me hold you." Gouenji's skin colours red until his neck, he's embarrassed, but at the same time he is relieved. Robert is right, he is exhausted. Gouenji rests his head against his boyfriend's chest and lets Robert draw him closer to himself. It's wonderful to have a man who cares this much about you by your side.

When Gouenji has put on his silk, red pyjamas and blow dried his hair, Robert has dinner ready on their coffee table in the living room. "I didn't have enough time to cook, I hope you don't mind. I ordered Thais for us." Gouenji smiles, he couldn't come up with a better plan than sitting on the sofa with his boyfriend while eating takeout food. "It's perfect."

They're sprawled on the sofa together, limbs entangled, stomachs full and Gouenji's head resting on Robert's chest. It has been a while since Gouenji's thoughts wandered from the program they were watching together, occasionally a soft laugh vibrates from Robert's chest through Gouenji's body. The blonde looks up and realises how lucky he is to have this man. "Hm?" Robert notices his boyfriend's gaze. "Nothing. I love you too." Robert chuckles heartily and presses a kiss on the side of Gouenji's head. "It's late, let's head to bed together."

Gouenji is all ready and waiting for Robert on his side of the bed while he watches the other male change. It gives him the time to study him in silence. His tall, muscular body, the curling, grey hairs on his chest Gouenji forbids him to ever shave, the thin, trimmed line of pubic hair that leads to his crotch and everything underneath it. Gouenji hopes that when he reaches Robert's age he'll still look as good as Robert does. When Gouenji reaches the fifty, Robert will be seventy-eight. What would their relationship be like, will they still be together even? What if Robert changes his mind and would rather go out with someone around his own age, someone who grows old with him at the same time. Will Gouenji lose him?

"Is there something?" Robert joins him in bed and pulls the covers over both of their bodies. "It's nothing, just thinking about how handsome you are." Gouenji trails his fingers over Roberts chest before roaming it through the hair on it. Robert slides his arm around his boyfriend's waist and draws him closer so Gouenji can snuggle up against him and bury his face in the crook of his neck. Robert's aroma smells like coconut and _manliness_. It's a sweet and familiar scent for Gouenji now, something he can't get enough of and it makes him forget all of his worries. He doesn't need to think about the future, he can enjoy this man the fullest right this instant. Robert switches the lights off and searches for Gouenji's lips in the dark to give him a last kiss. "Sleep well, Shuuji."

The following morning Gouenji gets awakened by the sunlight that's peeking through the blinds. He had a good night full of rest, he can't remember the last time he slept this well. He slowly stretches his body, while looking for Robert between the sheets, but the bed is empty. His face turns towards the clock on his nightstand. It's almost ten in the morning. "Shit!" He rolls out of bed and grabs his bathrobe on the way out of their bedroom. "Robert? Robert!"

"Is something the matter?" Robert approaches him from the kitchen.

"I overslept! I have to leave now, they must be missing me!"

Robert hushes him and kisses him gently on the forehead. "I called them already, you're having some time off."

"I can't Robert, I can't afford a free day now. There is still so much I have to!"

"Yes, you can." Robert holds both of Gouenji's shoulders with a firm grip. "You have been working your ass off the past couple of weeks, you deserve, no you _need _some rest."

"You don't understand, my job doesn't consist of taking time off to fly around the world whenever I want to. I need to be there, I have meetings to preside, important decisions to make. I can't just let them down now." Gouenji tries to free himself but Robert is holding him in an unusual tight grip. "I am doing this _because_ I understand. I was you, Shuuya. I have been there. When I was forty I thought everything was my responsibility and that all the work came down on me. I gave nothing out of hand and worked until deep in the night to get my work finished. Eventually, I had a nervous breakdown and couldn't bring up the strength to work for weeks. I am recognising the symptoms with you, and I am not letting this happen. So here is what you are going to do. You are going back to our bedroom now. You are going to put on some clothes and breakfast will be served when you get back in the kitchen. C_apiche_?"

"I— I don't..."

"Do you understand?" Robert presses his finger gently on his lover's lips. Gouenji sighs deeply, he has no other choice but to agree with what he said. He doesn't like to admit it, but he might have been overworking himself a little lately. Still a little dazed from Robert's speech he heads back to their bedroom to change his outfit. In the bathroom he meets his own eyes in the reflection. He looks better than he did when he was standing here yesterday morning. A full night of rest has done him well. He smiles, Robert is right. They would be able to manage without him for one day. Before he leaves he picks up the bottle with Robert's aftershave. It has that same coconut fragment he loves so much when he's cuddling with his boyfriend. Look at him, smelling the bottle like a love struck, teenage girl. He quickly puts it down, brushes his hair _one _more time and leaves the bathroom.

The lovely aroma of Robert's cooking skills are meeting him when he gets closer to the kitchen. "Hmm, that smell is wonderful what are you—" He stops in the middle of his sentence when he enters the kitchen. The table is beautifully decorated and on the white tablecloth is standing a vase with a bunch of red roses, but what's striking Gouenji is that Robert is wearing a very neat suit for an ordinary morning. Does he have a meeting later? "You look overwhelmed, it seems my idea to surprise you worked."

"It certainly did, but what is all of this for? Why are you all dressed up?" His eyes slide over the table once more, he used the tableware he inherited from his grandmother. "To what do I—" When he brings his eyes back to Robert he finds the man crouching in front of him on one knee. "Robert? What are you...No, Robert. Get up. I mean it, this is not funny. No...!"

The older man chuckles. "Is that your final answer or are you going to let me finish first?"

"Y-You can start..."

Robert holds Gouenji's hand in his. "My beloved Shuuji, I told you before how you brighten my world. My life has never been easy, always full of important and life changing decisions to make but I was never truly happy. But now, with you, I am. You are my happiness Shuuya, and I want to have you by my side for as long as it takes. I've been married twice to the same woman, but I never felt true love before. I want to make you as happy as you make me feel every single day. Gouenji Shuuya, will you marry me?"

It is one of those rare times Gouenji has nothing to say, he is overwhelmed with all sorts of feelings he is unable to describe. Robert presses a soft kiss on the back of his boyfriend's hand, looking up at him with those incredibly sexy, blue eyes of his.

"Y-Yes, yes I want to marry you!" With all the strength he has he pulls Robert back on his feet and wraps his arms tightly around the taller man's neck to kiss him full on his mouth. Robert's arms slide around his waist and he can feel that he's getting lifted off the ground. Robert's tongue brushes over his lips, and shortly after he welcomes it with his own. Their kiss is passionately, and even more intense than they have ever kissed before. Eventually Robert has to put him and they have to break the kiss. Robert makes use of this opportunity to put the ring he bought around his fiancé's finger. It's a stylish men's ring that features a unique brushed centre band with high polished bevelled edges for a contrast of texture. The lustrous brushed finish attracts attention without being gaudy, even though Gouenji used to wear earrings more spectacular than this, he loves what his future husband chose for him to wear around his finger. The silver tone of it complements with anything he has in his wardrobe. This beautiful ring is an excellent addition to a collection for a well-dressed man like him.

"It's beautiful, I don't know what to say." Robert brushes with his hand over Gouenji's hair. "You've said yes, that's enough for now. Although, I'd like you to make one more decision. We could eat breakfast here or head downstairs together where a limousine is waiting for us to bring us to the airport. And on the airport is my private jet that will fly not only us, but your family and closest friends to the Bahamas. When we arrive at the luxurious hotel we'll get a fancy welcome drink, and when we finish that and you are still certain about your decision. There is someone who can marry us, right there."

"You mean... we could get married _today_?"

"Yes," Robert smiles as if he's explaining simple grammar rules to a child. "Since the time difference between Tokyo and Nassau is thirteen hours, we can literally get married today."

Gouenji looks down at his watch. When they arrive at the airport where Robert's private jet is waiting it would be around noon here. The Bahamas must be a flight of about eighteen hours, which means they would arrive around eight am the next day on Tokyo time, but with a difference of thirteen hours they would almost travel back in time and it would be seven pm on the same day when they arrive there. It's possible, Robert has figured it all out. They could get married on the same day if they wanted to. Rather overwhelmed than hesitant he replies: "I don't know Robert, I have to work."

"I know it is sudden, but I have been planning this for weeks. I got it all taken care of. Your suit, the permission for you to leave for our honeymoon, I have your father's blessing. He will be there too. I understand you need some time to think, the thought of getting married and leaving so sudden—"

"Let's do it."

Robert looks at his partner, a little astonished maybe. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I want this Robert! There is nothing to over think. I want you, and I want to get married to you, so why not today? Why not fly off to the Bahamas and get married there? It all still sounds a little like a dream, but my life has been like something from a fairy tale ever since I met you. What are we waiting for Robert? Let's go!" Gouenji doesn't think he's even seen Robert smile this much before, and he has never felt this excited in his entire life. He is getting married to the man of his dreams.

About half an hour later Gouenji is fastening his seatbelt, they're about to ascend. There wasn't much packing to do. Robert couldn't have been one hundred percent sure, but it must have been ninety nine, because he already packed most of the stuff they needed. Gouenji has now eighteen hours write his wedding vows, but that's all he has to do. Robert has arranged the complete wedding, and Gouenji doesn't mind one bit. Before he starts writing those, or even thinking about it, he wants to know every detail about how Robert asked his father for his blessing.

* * *

"Come in."

Robert brushes his hand over his ironed suit before he enters the office of his boyfriend's father, Dr. Gouenji Katsuya.

"Robert," he smiles faintly as he puts his pen down and looks up at the tall man from his own sitting position. "A nice office you have, Doctor." Robert walks over to the chair across of Dr. Gouenji's desk. "May I?" But he is already sitting on it before he received the agreeing nod from his father-in-law.

"I thank you for the compliment, but I don't suppose you came to chat about my office. Is there something with Shuuya?"

Robert smiles charmingly while resting his elbows on the doctor's desk. "He is absolutely fine, a little overworked, perhaps, but I promise you that I am taking good care of him."

"I am relieved, so what _does_ bring you here?"

"I am glad you asked" Robert sits back on the chair and puts one leg over the other. His attitude is almost like he owns the room, and it's Dr. Gouenji visiting _him _instead. "You see, I am very serious about your son. While we were going out he met my ex-wife who I am on good terms with now, and my daughter Sophia, who is also very fond of him. We have travelled to various places together, I have shown him more in the two years that we are together than you can possibly imagine. It's a little like that story you told me about you and your deceased wife. Although we weren't helping other people, it was rather me fleeing from the life I was living. I have always been running, I realised. I moved around a lot and even made the big step to come live here in Japan, together with my family. I thought that I would find my purpose here, with my new job and wife and child, but I didn't. My life only recently started to make sense, and it was all since the moment that I have met your son.

When I saw him in that bar, sitting alone, drinking away his misery, I felt something deep inside of me. I had never been with a male before, I was a traditional man, much like yourself, but your son awakened something within me. A burning fire, lust and love. I approached him, asked him to drink with me and it must have been fate. That is how I feel about us meeting. That night I made the sweetest and the best love I had ever made to someone in years, no, in my whole life.

Now I will save you the naughty details of what I have done to your son since then, but I can describe to you what he does to me. I used to worry about my future. I reached the certain age of 'is this all', when I was in my forties. I didn't know what to do with myself, but even though I am in my early fifties now, I feel more alive than ever. One smile from your son is enough to brighten my day.

I believe in second love, and a new chance," Robert nods at the wedding ring around Dr. Gouenji's finger, who had been listening silently, quite astonished and maybe even a little taken aback by Robert's personality. Is this the same polite and quiet man he met during their first dinner? He had gotten used to his son's changing personality over the years, but Robert is even more flamboyant and shameless than him. "you found yours when you remarried your current wife, and I strongly believe that I found mine."

"And what do you want from me?"

"I want your approval to have his hand in marriage."

Dr. Gouenji shuts his eyes, he is still having trouble taking everything Robert has said in, and unfortunately for him, the thought of his son and this man in front of him together in one bed when Robert mentioned their love making crossed his mind and he's still trying to get that image out. "A marriage between two men? How are you planning to do that?"

"Not just a marriage between two men, a marriage between your son and his boyfriend. Unfortunately, we still can't get married here in Japan, but I have set up a plan. I would love to start with it, but before I start with the preparations I want to have your blessing first. It would mean a lot to Shuuya, and I wouldn't want to get married to him if his father isn't fully supporting it."

"So you are letting your relationship decide on my answer? " Robert sits up right, the doctor is challenging him, and he is willing to take it with both hands. "No, but you have said that you support our relationship."

"Marriage is not the same."

"Let me ask you this, Doctor, have you heard Shuuya complain about your new relationship with Mrs. Tae? A relationship that developed because you happened to like the mother of one of his teammates. Suddenly, your children had to get used to their father, who once loved their only mother, loving someone else. But they saw their father change, you told them stories about their mother they never even heard before when you met Tae-san. They saw their father coming home, smiling, that was something they had not ever seen before. It was difficult to accept that their father had moved on, but they did it. They did it for you. Shuuya has always spoken of you with so much respect, and love. Not once have I heard him say something that would put you in a bad light. He was scared of your judgement, yes, but he has always supported your relationship."

"Please come to the point."

"Do you think his opinion about you and Tae-san would changed when you announced your wedding plans?"

"No," Dr. Gouenji furrows his eyebrows. "not as far as I am concerned."

"It has not indeed, so what would change for you, if I would marry your son?"

The eyes of the aging doctor widen, and Robert knows that he got him cornered. There is no way out once he manages to talk his way in. Dr. Gouenji exhales a deep sigh and lets himself sink in his old chair. "You are a smart man, Robert Quinn. Very smart. You do not back away from a little competition and you even dared to stand up to your father-in-law, the man you are trying to get approval from. You have a good influence on my son, and I think you bring the best out of him. He has achieved more than ever since he has been with you, and you brought us closer. I always felt a certain distance with my son, a bond I could not create and I had no clue why. Now that we finally got that out of our way, talking with him seems so much easier. It is as if I am finally understanding what is going on in his head and why he chose this path in life. You have my gratitude, and you have earned my respect." Dr. Gouenji reaches his hand out to the man across of him. "This is how they do it in America, as I recall?"

Robert leans forward and shakes the doctor's hand firmly. "You have my blessing, and I am willing to participate in whatever plan you are going to make. Knowing my son, it must be something spectacular you have in mind. Please let me know beforehand, so I can ask for a couple of free days to attend to my son's wedding."

"You have my word once again, father." The way the older man's eye twitches but doesn't give voice to his thoughts amuses Robert and he realises that Shuuya and his father have more alike than they both think. But that's something he will probably never mention to either one of them.

* * *

Gouenji leans on the railing of the balcony of their hotel room. They have a beautiful sight over the beach, the sea and the clean sky above it, filled with bright stars. Today was the best day of his life.

Apparently the limousine that drove them from the airport to the hotel had taken a different route than the other cars, or they had been driving around in circles without Gouenji noticing because he was too busy with kissing his fiancé and drinking champagne, but when they arrived everyone was already waiting for them in the lobby. He got greeted by his little sister first, who jumped on him and demanded to see the ring. Even now she's almost an adult, she is still a child at heart sometimes. She couldn't wait for her big brother to see her in her dress either. It was even lovelier than the one she had worn to her father's wedding. It was probably more expensive too, since Robert had given the girls his credit card. His father greeted him with a smile and a confirming nod. It had been enough for Gouenji, from what he heard from Robert on their way to Nassau, he couldn't be more happier with this gesture from him. Next up to congratulate him was Kidou. He looked stunning in his navy blue suit and tie, but Gouenji didn't feel more than a warm feeling of friendship for him, and that made him happy. His contact with his best friend had increased too, they were finally able to set aside the feelings that were holding the both of them back after that night and everything felt as it was supposed to do again. Maybe Gouenji gain an even better friend from it too. Fudou was waiting for him with a broad grin. Instead of congratulating him he gave him his condolences and said that the boring married life was about to start. Gouenji assured him that their sex life had not decreased from the moment they met, and simply asked him if he was envious of their relationship. Fudou huffed and made clear he would never follow their example, marriage was not his cup of tea. Gouenji could not hold back a soft chuckle, what Fudou didn't know was that Kidou has been walking around with a ring for a couple of weeks already, still waiting for the right moment to occur. Sometimes Gouenji wonders if it's ever going to happen, with Fudou's attitude, but what he heard from Kidou is that the brunette has a very loving and caring side too, which he never shows to anyone but him. They are romantic in their own ways.

The wedding itself had been lovely, Robert had regulated it out to every detail. There was music, there was a wedding cake with two grooms on top of it, Yuuka and Sophia were their maids of honour and looked absolutely beautiful in their dresses, and even Fudou behaved. But the best part of the wedding was, aside from getting to say yes to the most handsome man he has ever seen and marrying him, that his father gave him away. His traditional, old man, was waiting for him and brought him to the altar where a man in a grey suit with red tie was waiting for him. This day could not have been more perfect.

After they exchanged their vows, and his father did not faint when he saw his son actually kissing Robert right in front of his eyes, a small party started where everyone could dance and enjoy beautiful fireworks until somewhere past midnight.

Gouenji feels two, strong arms wrap around his waist, and a chin resting on his shoulder. "Enjoying the view?" He low, familiar voice murmurs in his ear.

"Enjoying the day, still." Gouenji replies, and turns his face to his kiss husband's cheek. "Can you imagine it? This morning I was still stressed about my job and had no idea I would be getting married today, and now here we are. On this beautiful island, far away from home. It still feels surreal."

Robert chuckles and kisses his partner's neck. "And the day is not over yet." A bright smile curls on Gouenji's lips as he feels Robert's soft lips planting kisses in his neck, slowly up over the side of his cheek until he feels his teeth gently sink into the shell of his ear. "How about we continue this in our bedroom, mister Shuuya Quinn?"

It is not like he has much of a choice, because Robert is already starting to unbuckle his belt, and his fingers are trailing up for the buttons of Gouenji's white shirt next. "With pleasure." He wraps his arms around his husband's neck and shortly after his feet leave the ground. Robert is carrying him like a real bride before he gently places him on the bed, to start a not so gentle event. The rest of the night is filled with sweet love making, the sound of the bed banging against the wall, and Gouenji's endless moans of pleasure as Robert rides over him like a wild animal.

A great marriage isn't something that just happens; it's something that must be created, and the two men are about to experience all of it.


	3. Chapter 3

Gouenji gets off the black limousine and is immediately greeted by Toramaru, who was waiting for him outside the building. "Nii- eh, Chairman! You should have been here twenty minutes ago! "Gouenji smiles at his own reflection I the tinted glass of the limousine."I'm sorry; the meeting took longer than expected. I'm here now, right? "Toramaru doubts whether the meeting got actually extended because he made a tight schedule for today. He chuckles softly. "Fortunately, I had taken that into account and gave you the wrong time. You're so predictable, Gouenji-san."

Gouenji shoots him a glare on which the younger male straightens his back to take in a more professional position. "You remember how important this interview is, right? Nothing can go wrong. "He hurries after his boss, who doesn't seem the slightest bit impressed by his words. "An in-depth interview about how I've infiltrated in the Fifth Sector and finally my debut as Chairman, is it not? Don't worry, Toramaru, this is not the first magazine that wants to know the full story about the man behind the dark tan."

After Shinsei Inazuma Japan's success the attention was drawn back to him. They were begging him for interviews, but he would take only the best to tell his whole story to about how he started with the revolution, followed by his success as Chairman for the Japan Youth Soccer Association. Once again he has to answer for his choice to appoint Kuroiwa Ryuusei as coach for the youth representatives for Japan, but this time there is no mention of an enormous mistake, but they speak of the mastermind who was behind this decision. Gouenji smiles to himself, how the tables have turned for the second time. "Who is this interviewer again?"

"Oshiro Juzaburo-san, the finder of _J-magazine_, one of the most popular sports magazines from Japan! If it goes well, you can straighten your reputation Nii-san, everyone will read about your good intentions for football! In addition, you'll probably be on the cover!" Toramaru grins broadly. "Then you can do one of your fabulous Holy Emperor poses and someone will see them for once!"

"If you want me to behave professionally during this interview, I would quickly change my tone if I were you, Toramaru."

"A-ah!" Toramaru looks up in dread and bows quickly as sign of respect. He has put way too much effort into this to see the interview get ruined by his boss' cavalier attitude. "Right away, boss!" His usual gentle smile is back on his face as he heads to the front desk to let them know they arrived. Gouenji studies Toramaru, he can be a shy and quite an innocent boy. Though he may be shy at times, he is very strong and has an unmistakable huge amount of potential in soccer, as he has impressive natural talent at the sport. When Toramaru played freely without being pressured into thinking he is scoring too many goals, his true energetic and competitive personality was shown. Gouenji had always liked that version of him better, the one who challenged him and told him to beware of his ace striker position. Toramaru and Gouenji still communicate in their own way; something they have taught themselves after the family came together. However, this does not mean goofing around outside their office or during working hours. Sometimes he must be strict and put Toramaru in place, he can't always be the cheerful assistant of his older brother.

"That can't be true! Our appointment is today! "Gouenji glances in the direction of his former teammate, wildly waving his arms in an attempt to convince the visibly irritated receptionist. Gouenji slowly walks towards them. "What's the problem?" He smiles at the woman behind the counter.

"Oshiro Juzaburo-sama is not present today, sir." Stammers the woman, who, after brief eye contact with Gouenji, glued her eyes on the screen of her computer. "I am unable to find the appointment in his calendar."

Toramaru is hanging over the counter in defeat. "And I had everything planned out for today." He complains with a voice full of self-pitying. Gouenji puts his hand on his young friend's shoulder, beaming the young woman one of his most charming smiles. "I am certain something can be arranged for us. Or would that be a problem?"

The young lady seems hesitant, but after an encouraging nod from Gouenji she gets up from her chair. "The partner of Oshiro Juzaburo-sama is also provided, and her schedule for this morning seems to be empty. I could try to convince her to let her take the interview for you." Her eyes are insecure as she looks back at the blonde male. "Thank you, if that is possible we would highly appreciate it. I would like to do the interview today. "

"I will arrange it for you, sir! If you could wait in the room at the end of this hall, I'll go get it for you!" She points to the large decorated door at the end of the long hallway and bows before she leaves her safe spot behind the counter. Gouenji and Toramaru walk silently to the designated room. When Toramaru shuts the door behind them there forms a wide grin on his face.

"That was so cool, Gouenji-san! She was completely taken aback! "Gouenji seats himself on one of the comfortable, dark green chairs which are set up in the room, with his back to the giant doors."I really thought I went through all that trouble for nothing, but then you came with your charming smile and killer eyes!" Toramaru squeezes his hands together in excitement. "I wish I could pull that off!"

Gouenji laughs while scanning the space with his eyes. It is bright, mainly due to the large windows that provide sweeping views of the garden of the building. He wonders why a company that specializes in writing magazines would need such large garden. Probably it is a stressful job and the employees would succumb under the pressuring deadlines. Many would have quit before if it wouldn't be for the exemplary garden. Gouenji makes a note in his head to suggest that they should do something with the plot of land that comes with the office building or a terrace on the roof for example. It would be the perfect location to visit with Robert during working hours for some distraction.

"If you want to master this it would start with working on your appearance." The patience and charm he showed were partly, or mainly, taken over from Robert. He has learned that with a friendly smile and a subtly seductive look will get you more done than only words. Although he himself is often frustrated and impatient if something had gone wrong with their booking, but Robert remained calm. There is no limit to his patience. Often he managed to get an even better suite than they had originally booked and they'd get the first night free room service.

"I'm sorry you had to wait this long, here I am!" Says a for him familiar, female voice. Where has he heard this voice before? "It got thrown on my desk last minute, is it correct that I am meeting with Ishido Shuuji, former Holy Emperor?"

"Yes, that's right," replies Toramaru for him. He talks slower than normal, obviously he tries to imitate Gouenji, as he tries with his own husband. His childlike innocence, even at the age of 25 is always amusing. "Only he is no longer known by that name, and wishes not to be longer addressed like that."

"It's fine, Toramaru. We can continue this alone." He slowly stands up from his chair and turns around to greet the woman. "I'll introduce myself, I'm-"

"_You_."

Both are frozen on their spot. In front of him is standing a middle-aged woman, a petite lady of average height. She has short blonde hair and familiar green eyes. She's dressed in an elegant and classy attire. This woman, the business partner of the man he was supposed to have an interview with, is Robert's ex wife.

"Do you know this woman, Gouenji-san?"

"Please leave us be, Toramaru. We are two mature adults who can solve this together." Toramaru is looking full concern from one to the other, the mood in the room dropped below zero. After a brief apology he disappears through the large doors.

"Mature, you say." Jill Pandey places her bag down beside her and stares at him with a withering look. "In my eyes you're just a kid, a kid who has ruined the lives of a whole family because he could not stay away from my husband with his filthy hands."

"When Robert said you two had ended it on good terms I already had my doubts, but now I am certain." He says calmly. "He also told me that you were aware of his sexuality and you helped him the past, so why so bitter? Your marriage was hanging by small silken thread. Robert was downbeat, and you were in the middle of a spurious marriage."

"You sat at my table!" She crossly snarls back at him. "You have taken advantage of my hospitality, lied to my face while you were sleeping with my husband!"

"It was the beginning of our relationship; it seemed exciting, as was each moment with Robert. Being furtive and sly gave us a thrill, but I never asked for it to meet you. It was you who invited me over because you wanted to meet your husband's partner. "

"His _business_ partner, yes, not his lover. You could have cancelled. Every woman would feel mislead when they find out that the love affair of their husbands is happening right under their noses, but you were in my house. I intentionally let you in. Do you have any idea how humiliated I felt when Robert revealed your true identity?"

Gouenji exhales a deep sigh and shakes his head. Toramaru had asked him to behave, and to be honest, he is not in the best mood to have a discussion with his husband's ex wife. He is not responsible for the choices Robert made during their affair. "I suppose we will not be conducting the interview. I will leave now, and my assistant will make a new appointment with your partner. "

"I don't think so."

Gouenji dwells. "Pardon?"

"I will personally make sure that there will be no interview. I will start with a piece about what a fraud you actually are. "

"That does not seem very professional, ma'am."

"You've always been a swindler; try to place yourself in the position of the Fifth Sector, your friends. For months you fooled everyone around you. It has cost people their jobs and schools, and for what purpose?"

"With all due respect, but I do not have to justify myself to you. I did what I had to do to save football. You go ahead with your unreasonable article, but you will hear from my lawyer. Then not only your partner but also throughout our whole nation the people will know that you are unprofessional and let a great opportunity for your magazine slide because of your own personal feelings. It is not my fault that your husband has so much knowledge about clothes because he spent half of his life in the closet." He grips the handle of the door to make his leave, but before he does so he turns around once more. A smirk curls on his lips. "And while Robert complained about your cooking skills to you, he had no objections against taking my dick in his mouth. That should clarify some things for you. Good day, ma'am."

* * *

"Did you truly say that to her?"

Gouenji grabs a coat hanger from the closet to hang up his jacket. He just got out of the shower and he hadn't had the time yet to neatly hang up his clothes, as Robert likes to see. "Would I ever lie to you?" Behind him is his man, sprawled on the bed, his glasses on the tip of his nose and the book he was reading is he laid down beside him. "You're definitely something." Robert laughs and pulls Gouenji on the waistband of his underwear to bed.

"Something my assistant is furious at."

"Listen," Robert pulls him on his lap so that his husband is sitting between his legs. "Jill tends to make a lot of drama and react a little emotional when her own personal problems are involved. You shouldn't blame her; it was a reasonable shock for her to see you there." Gouenji wants to tear away from his grasp. This is typically Robert; he always defends the other party which makes Gouenji feel more like a dick. Robert, however, had already foreseen this and holds him tightly. "We have lied to her about your job; it wasn't the smartest move with a woman writing for an editorial. You were bound to run into her some day." He presses a gentle kiss on Gouenji's brown tinted shoulder. "Oshiro-san is an old friend of mine. Tomorrow I will call the editor; I'll explain the situation and Toramaru can arrange a new appointment. You'll get your interview, and your brother will be satisfied."

"No," Gouenji says sternly, trying to fight against Roberts soft lips kissing his neck. "I want you to stay out of it. You've done enough damage already." His last words are more an irritated growl, he wants to be angry at Robert, but he can't. That he fails to resist this man irritates him more than this whole situation, but he can't help but sound rather bluntly.

"Hm?" Behind him sounds Robert's indignant voice. "This affair was not just my idea; you had the chance to leave after that night in the hotel. And you voluntarily married me, or did you forget? "Gouenji expected that Robert would be angry, but in hindsight that thought was quite unrealistic. He has never seen Robert mad at him. His strong hands push him onto his back on the bed. "Well?" He holds Gouenji's chin tightly between his fingers and looks at him severely. "Do you dare to say that I forced you to marry me?" Gouenji is trying to ignore the pain in his jaw, Robert may love him, but the word 'gentle' does not exist in his vocabulary when they are in the bedroom .

"No, I marrying you was completely voluntary. Now I am waiting until the right moment to put poison in your drink, become a widower, and inherit your whole fortune. I'll be a rich man."

"Oh, now that is very interesting indeed." Roberts puts his arm across the width of Gouenji's chest, pressing him tightly to the bed while he takes the blonde's nipple between his fingers and twists it. "And why am I still alive? You've had plenty of chances in the past half year. "

"_Nngh_," Gouenji clutches his hands together, struggling in Roberts grip. "The plan ... will only come into effect ... once I get bored of you in bed." Robert has heard enough. He grabs Gouenji by his hips and turns him on his stomach, causing him to land with his face in the pile of pillows. Gasping for breath, his head jolts up once he feels Robert's hands on his buttocks, spreading his butt cheeks, and the warm breath on his skin which gives him goose bumps all over his body.

"Then I will have to make sure not to bore you." Before he knows it he feels Roberts tongue over his bare buttocks, sliding to his entrance. Gouenji moves with his feet in an attempt to give his partner a kick in his stomach, but the older man who is very flexible for his age, and had already expected this reaction, dodges it with ease. "For a former professional foot ballplayer these are some lousy kicks. No wonder you stopped playing. Holy Emperor my ass, you were no longer qualified as ace striker."

"Maybe you should wear the condom over your head instead, if you act like a dick you might as well dress like one."

"I spent enough years in the closet to know how a dick dresses, they show up at work wearing a cravat."

"That was so funny, my middle finger just got a boner, but that's about all you're getting up."

Robert has decided that they have interacted with words enough; he lifts his husband's hips which makes Gouenji automatically responds by pulling his knees up. He uses his tongue to massage the area, with his soft, moist lips he gently kisses all around the anus. He licks with a flat tongue from top to bottom as if he is enjoying a vanilla ice cream that they bought on the Boulevard in Spain. Robert said it was the best ice cream he had ever. Who would have thought that Robert, the man of fancy food and delicacies, would go silent with a simple cone filled with vanilla ice cream? Gouenji is moaning in the pillows when the flattened tongue presses against the opening, slowly teasing in. First it feels slippery and _wrong_, but a few minutes into it, Gouenji experiences a sexual black out. His fingers are buried in the pillows, the duvet, anything within in reach. Gouenji's response elicits Robert to give his all. Gouenji arches his back, his fingers are cramping and his legs tremble under its own weight that he has to keep up, but the only thing he feels now is the endless pleasure as Robert touches him. With his face turning deep red because of the excitement rush and the warmth of the cushions he climaxes. It's not necessary to turn around to know Robert's facial expression. "For someone who is always late, you came surprisingly quickly. I haven't even really touched you yet."

"What did you say again about not letting me get bored?" He pants out. "Because when I listen to you talking now, I find myself more tempted to listen to Kidou going on about strategies for a good hour."

Robert clicks his tongue in disapproval. He prefers it when he doesn't mention Kidou, or any of his other friends when they are having intercourse. Especially the topic Kidou seem to bother him, but it doesn't withhold him from teaching Gouenji a lesson did not stop him from learning Gouenji a lesson. Gouenji gets rolled back onto his back and Robert sits himself on top of him.

"Open up."

With his thumb he brushes over the blonde's lips and forces his mouth to open. "Let's put that big mouth of yours to better use." His husband pushes himself with his full length in Gouenji's mouth until he almost has to retch, but he managed to restrain himself just yet. He wonders if he'll ever really get bored of sex with Robert. No lovemaking session is the same with this man, who is very athletic and rugged for his age. Who would have expected that behind this handsome, and above all, calm businessman, was hiding such a wild beast in bed? If anyone ever finds out how Gouenji, respected in his own office by anyone with the except of his friends, lets himself get treated like this by his husband he would no longer be able to look anyone in the eye. But it is delightful, and he enjoys every second of it.

Once the both of them are satisfied Gouenji crawls on top of his man's hairy chest and snuggles affectionately against him, with his nose between the hairs on his chest. He loves to listen to his heartbeat, which now accelerated intoning in his ear. It takes longer for him to catch his breath than usual, and occasionally there is a high pitched noise between breaths. Gouenji pushes himself up to take a good look at Roberts face. "Already tired, old man?" He grins, hooking his fingers in his grey chest hair.

"Just because you have no life does not mean I am I going to waste mine listening to you."

"You don't have much time left to waste anyway, grandpa."

Whilst laughing, Gouenji tries to crawl away from him, but he's too slow. Robert's fingers wind around his ankle and he gets pulled back until he's laying flat on his husband's lap. "This grandpa will show you how naughty children with a big, trash speaking mouth were punished when he was your age."

Robert gives him a hefty slap on the buttocks, it is not the first time he hits him playfully on his back but Gouenji's reaction surprised and both.

"Was that an actual moan?"  
Gouenji is trying to break away, or at least turn on his back so his sensitive ass is no longer within Robert's reach, but there is no way that Robert is letting him escape now. "_Shuuji_," he teases. "You are getting hard again. I believe I have just discovered one of your hidden fetishes. So the chairman likes to get spanked, oh if your colleagues would know of this."

Gouenji wants to fall out to him, but before he can think of the right curse word to use another hit on his buttocks follows, and again he moans at the sensation of his hot, burning butt cheek. Robert is unstoppable now, it starts with several at light swats with the palm of his hand, then he increases the intensity of the swats until the bum area is a rosy pink colour. To Robert that means the bum is ready for a sturdier spank.

But what he does after is what drives Gouenji even more insane, after another firm swat he gives him some light caresses and rubs around the area; it intensifies the feeling for Gouenji. "R-Robert…! I need you to fuck me again." His moan is muffled because he is leaning with his forehead on his arms. Robert entangles his fingers in the blonde's hair until he has a firm grip and pulls up his partner's head on his hair. "Sorry, I didn't get that. What did you say exactly?"

"_Please_," normally Gouenji is not as fast to give up, he balks until the very last moment, but then, this situation is far from normal. He has never felt so aroused from something that started as an innocent and playful spanking session. It hadn't been the first time he did this either, so he isn't sure where this feeling is coming from all of the sudden. After his husband begged him this fast to get fucked, Robert can't do other than give him what he is longing for. And at the end of their second session of the evening Gouenji is exhausted, his body sticky with sweat, and his ass bright red because of Robert's hand.

* * *

"Well, you know how she is. She tends to over exaggerate." Says Robert on the phone while the dumps the remaining of his quick meal in the trash. "Hmm, that's right. So, they can call you tomorrow for a new appointment?"

"Thank you for doing this."

"Whether I am in your debt? I give you the interview of the century with my husband; you can thank me for that. "

Robert ends the call, exactly for this reason he hates journalists, if you give them a hand, they ask for an arm. But he succeeded; he was able to arrange a new appointment for Gouenji. This is the last thing he had on his to do list today, his husband has a late night meeting, and he won't be home for another hour or two. This means he has the house for him alone. How wonderful as that may sound to some, he misses his noisy man at home, it is eerily quiet without him. Now his old dog Pat has passed, the silence is deafening.

Normally they would snuggle up on the sofa together, but he can't do that anymore. His dog deceased last year. It had been very difficult for him. His almost ten year old Beagle has helped him through some tough times in his life. When Robert no longer had energy left, he always had Pat to fall back on. He made sure Robert was in motion, and at the time of the divorce he hadn't been alone in his house. They bought Pat, short for Patrick, for their daughters eighth birthday. Not only Robert really wanted a dog, but his daughter too. Jill eventually agreed with it, and he could surprise his daughter with a puppy for her birthday.

Robert had always wanted to have a dog, but in the past his parents wouldn't let him. They had a big family, and therefore the answer was no over and over again when Robert begged them for a puppy for his own birthday. Later, when he lived alone and travelled around the world, he barely had time for one. He and Sophia miss their incredibly energetic dog, but they aren't yet ready for a new puppy. Robert doubts whether it will ever happen, Gouenji is not really an animal person. Luckily he still has someone to take care of, his husband is very depended. But tonight, he is all alone.

Robert was about to settle himself on the sofa in the lounge with a glass of wine and a book when he hears the doorbell. He laughs as he opens the door, ready to greet his husband, who probably forgot his key again. However, it is not Gouenji, but someone else on his doorstep. "Kidou-san? What are you doing here? I have to disappoint you, Shuuya is not home. "

"Ah, I am sorry. I should have called first. "

"Can I take a message?"

Kidou shakes his head. "No, that is not necessary."

Robert has never been the biggest fan of Kidou, but he lets him in anyway. Something in Kidou's gaze awakened a feeling of pity in him. He still finds it difficult to accept the man with dreadlocks after how he treated Gouenji in the past. Maybe it's jealousy, because Gouenji still has a lot of respect for this man and could never say one bad word about him. Either way, he had imagined his evening to be internally differently than having his husband's best friend in his living room.

Once they start chatting, with a good glass of wine, Kidou's company turned out to be not as half as bad as he first thought. To his surprise, Kidou was able to guess the brand and year of the wine after one sip. He must have the possession over very sophisticated palates, or an incredible drinking problem, Robert thinks to himself. But the more they talk about everyday topics such as the latest news, football (even though that's not his favourite subject), and art (something he very much likes), Robert notes the intelligence of the man in front of him and gradually starts to understand what his husband once saw in this man. Rather, Robert and Kidou are fairly equal. He smiles subconsciously; he had not expected anything else from Gouenji. He may occasionally act like a spoiled little brat, but he surely has a fine taste in men who are able to take care of both themselves, and him.

He must acknowledge it is nice to have a conversation on a certain level in his own living room, Kidou seems to occasionally challenge him to test his intelligence, and Robert is more than happy to accept these playful challenges. Although Kidou rejected Gouenji in the past, because he felt more for an arrogant and unemployed scum, Robert had the strong feeling that they were competitors, and if he is not careful, Gouenji could be snatched away right in front of him. However, he is sure that if his man now had to choose between him and Kidou, Gouenji would remain loyal to him. He is certainly able to give him more than any other man of his own age could. Gouenji needs a man with life experience who can take care of himself, and Gouenji. Yet something is gnawing on him. Of course the subject 'Gouenji ' was inevitable this evening, and while Robert fills their glasses once more Kidou gives him a meaningful look.

"How is he, is he happy?"

Robert sits back on the sofa, nodding thoughtfully while before taking a sip. "Yes, we are very happy together. Married life and cohabitation seems to suit him well." Kidou remains silent; you don't need his life experience to notice that something is troubling his company. He looks at him over the rim of his glass. "But shouldn't you be asking him, you and I are merely acquaintances of each other. Shuuya would be able to tell you more. "

"I haven't had the chance recently. When we speak it are often quick, work related conversations over the phone. We don't have much time for each other nowadays."

"That is a shame to hear. I know how much he values your friendship."

Kidou looks at him gratefully, but Robert is not content yet. So Gouenji is not the problem, normally he would not just poke his nose into other people's business, certainly not the ex crush of his man, but something is causing him to feel rather curious about the matter and he sets it as goal for the night. He will find out what is bothering the other man. Kidou Yuuto, A talented game maker with the finest skill and techniques, driving his team forward as a true leader. Teikoku Academy's Commander. If he had had a son, he would have sent him to Teikoku without a doubt. Robert has great respect for Kidou's position Kidou also seems very logical and reasonable, as he is a genius game strategist. Japan's command tower, knowing every single important thing there is to know about his, or his team's potential opponents. But today he is sitting here with him on his L-shaped sofa in his living room, and as expected from a genius, he has experiences difficulties when it comes to talking about his feelings and emotions.

"Of course we have our ups and downs like any couple." He seems to have Kidou's interest now, Robert has to suppress a smile. He is heading into the right direction. "We have our occasional arguments about the smallest things. Work, householding," he chuckles briefly. "His attitude. But at the end of the day we always make it right. I've learned to never go to sleep angry, even if we stay up all night, we will not rest until we have solved our issues." He spins his glass thoughtfully in his hand before he places it back on the table. "How are things between you and your partner?"

Kidou shifts uncomfortably on his place. _Bingo_, Robert thinks to himself, spot on. "If I've learned anything from my previous marriage, then you should talk to each other. My ex-wife and I stopped talking at some point. I put zero effort in restoring our relationship, but if you want to save it, you should talk with your boyfriend. "

"I would love to, but it's impossible to get Akio to sit down and talk. I have the feeling that we are living alongside each other."

"Has anything recently changed in your relationship?"

"Not that I know of." He shakes his head in defeat. "Bu these days I am not sure about anything when it comes to him. He has always been unpredictable, but it is starting to get on my nerves. We are as different as night and day, but we always managed to make something out of it. One glance was enough to know what he's thinking, and that feeling used to be mutual. "Kidou finishes his drink and lets it get refilled by Robert."But it seems we have lost our connection."

"I'm not a therapist Kidou-san, but I do know someone in the profession. I could give him a call."

"I appreciate the gesture, but that won't be necessary." Kidou laughs scornfully. "I would never get Akio to see one with me. He has something called 'pride'."

"I am very sorry to hear this." And that feeling is sincere; if Kidou and Fudou are going through a difficult period it will certainly have the necessary impact on Gouenji. Kidou will seek support from him, as he intended to get tonight, and with the amount of liquor passing through it, and both men their inabilities to set boundaries, or to tolerate alcohol is very worrisome.

"Don't get me wrong, I love him, but the things that held us together no longer seem enough. The good times together does not seem to outweigh the endless arguments anymore. I fear that my love for him is not strong enough to help us overcome this. "

"Come on," Robert's voice had a hint of shock, something he normally is able to suppress. "Don't hop on conclusions just yet, this is all going a little fast, don't you think? You shouldn't decide this from one day on another. A relationship requires a lot of time, and even more to repair one. "

"That's just it; I am having this on my chest for months. The playful contradictions are suddenly not amusing anymore. We are too different; we want different things in life. I want to marry him, start a family together, but Akio has other plans. Or, frankly, no plans. He finds marriage nonsense, and children are mildly said not his cup of tea. "

Robert could give him dozens of arguments why indeed marriage should not be an issue, even though he wanted to marry Gouenji with his whole being. It is merely a piece of paper, attached by law is weaker than connected in each other's hearts, but he can't come up with anything for Kidou's strong desire to be a father. That feeling is so strong, and he knows from his own experience how beautiful it is to have a baby. Something you can call your own, and you can feel proud of. He has never found a more beautiful photograph or painting than his own daughter. "As you get older you change, you want different things, and if your partner does not grow with you, that can be catastrophic for a relationship.

Kidou scoffs. "I doubt that Akio will ever grow up."

The older man sighs, he is at this moment more concerned about how quickly they are consuming their wine than Kidou's relationship problems. The man next to him is obviously fuddled. "Akio and I just don't understand each other, not like you and I do. He is nothing like you."

"Like me?"

"Yes, like you." Kidou moves closer on the sofa, infiltrating Robert's personal space. "Caring, not afraid to show your feelings and talk about them, funny, and intelligent. I am unable to remember the last time I had such an intriguing conversation with anyone. I haven't felt this kind of connection in a long time." Robert's quirks a brow in surprise the moment Kidou places his hand on his thigh. All this time he had been worried about the possibility of Kidou regretting his choice for Fudou and that he might fall back on Gouenji one day realising his mistake. He then feared that Gouenji would fail to resist, but the thought of himself being the victim of Kidou's flirtatious behaviour had not crossed his mind before.

"Kidou-san," he says softly and places his hand on the other's shoulder in an attempt to gently push him away as respectful as possible. He would rather not have that he gets scolded by Gouenji later on for abusing one of his best friends, but he finds himself in a rather hopeless situation, trapped between the arm of the sofa and Kidou's body. "You're intoxicated. Stop now before you end up doing something you will regret."

"But I am very, _very _sure," Kidou whispers hoarsely, his lips ghosting over Robert's own. He reeks of alcohol, and how much it amuses him to smell his own husband's irrigated breath when he had a couple of drinks, how unpleasant and highly uncomfortable he feels this moment. "I will not regret this."

Two warm, unfamiliar, lips are pressed against his. Robert does not respond to the kiss and because of his rapid response capability the contact did not last longer than necessary. Kidou is shocked, but awakened by his own mistake. In the man's bright, crimson eyes he sees pain and regret. It was the alcohol that kissed him, Robert is now able to see that Kidou would never intentionally hurt someone he cares for, and he realises now that he had never meant any harm to Gouenji.

"You feel alone, I understand." He begins softly, never breaking the eye contact between him and his formal rival. Kidou from up close in his drunken state resembles an innocent, confused, young man instead rather than a competitor. He gets reminded of himself when he was younger. "You were able to talk with me, get certain things off your chest, but you are not in love with me. You are perhaps envious of our relationship, it crosses your mind that you might have been happier if you would have chosen Shuuya, and that thought alone conjures an immensely guilt in you. You're a good man, Kidou-san, but _I _am married to Shuuya, and I love him. Confront Fudou-san with your feelings, but do not cheat. You will end up causing more pain for the people you love, and I speak from experience. "

Robert notices how Kidou's eyes grow moist, but he bravely holds back on his tears. As he has often seen with his husband, they may then be twenty-seven, but secretly they are not yet as mature as they think. You never fully grow up. There will always be uncertainties in your life, jobs, relationships. Years of marriage are no insurance for a good marriage. That is why so many people separate later on; sometimes the love between two individuals slowly vanishes. Nobody is eager to find out that they no longer have loving feelings for their partner, but slowly starting to realise that just loving someone is not enough anymore is just as painful as telling your partner that you can't continue like this any longer. And then, your most important assurance in life is gone. Everything you thought you would have forever is slowly disappearing, and there is no other life experience that can advice you about what you should do next. No, growing up is something you do your whole life.

Kidou thanks him for listening, and his wise words. He is ashamed and saddened by the conclusions he has drawn tonight. He never intended to kiss him, but Robert had been there when he needed someone. Robert understands him, but he does not approve of his behaviour. He is certainly not proud of the way he treated Jill during his second marriage, and he wants to save Gouenji's friend the pain. Disloyalty is a major breach of trust. He would rather not stand in Kidou's shoes when he confesses this kiss to his partner, if he is even planning to do so. Sometimes, to save a relationship, it is better to conceal certain things from the other to prevent them from getting hurt.

"I meant what I said about you being nice to talk to, and you're an intelligent man." Kidou smiles faintly, but Robert laughs heartily in an attempt to cheer the muted atmosphere. "Likewise, Kidou-san. I feel the same way about you."

There is a soft thud which makes both men look up. In the doorway of the hall to the living room stands Gouenji. His bag fell on the floor, and he stares at the two men, who are still very bunched together, with open mouth.

"Shuuya," Robert, who already imagined how this must look like for his melodramatic husband is the first one to stand up, followed by Kidou whose cheeks are as red as his eyes, and it's not just because of the alcohol.

"Don't you _dare _say it, Robert! 'It's not what you think it is', I don't want to hear it!"

"Gouenji—"

"LEAVE!" Gouenji is furious as he points at the door.

"I will order a taxi for him." Robert puts his hand on the affrighted, unstable man's shoulder.

"Yeah, do that. Maybe you should call one for yourself too."

Robert does not respond to that, he commands with an iron tone, like a father talking to a child. He instructs Gouenji that he should wait in another room while he arranges a ride home for Kidou. They will talk about this later, when Gouenji has cooled down a bit. He is not sure why he listens to him, but he picks up his fallen suitcase and strides toward their bedroom. He can't stand looking at either one of them right now anyway.

Somewhat later, as he escorted Kidou safely into the taxi and reassured him that he will talk to Gouenji, Robert re-enters the living room. He is surprised to see Gouenji there. He had expected that he would be sulking in the bedroom, underneath the covers, waiting for Robert to come back so they could talk this out. Instead Gouenji is seated on the sofa, on the opposite side of where Robert and Kidou had just been sitting before he came in. The same sofa they have made love on so many times before, and tried various new positions.

"I should have known, but I was naive enough to marry you." Robert dwells in the middle of the room, his eyes on Gouenji, while the blonde is fixated on the spot on the sofa where the incident just happened. "When a man cheats with you, he will also cheat on you."

"So that is it? You are not going to give me a chance to explain what you saw?"

His head jolts up, Robert is finally able to look him in the eye. There is burning fierce anger in his chocolate brown eyes, combined with melancholy. "Kidou was almost on your lap, or are you going to tell me that was just my imagination?"

"Yes, ...no." Robert sighs deeply and seats himself next to his husband. "Yes and no, you did see that, but you misinterpreted the situation. I don't have an affair with Kidou-san." He puts his hand on Gouenji's knee. He doesn't move away from him, that is a good sign at least.

"Then what happened before I came in?" His voice is unsteady. Robert has never seen him so broken, heard him speak with a voice this anguished.

"He kissed me."

Gouenji abruptly moves his knee to the left so Robert's hand slides off. "You have to understand, my love, it was not his intention. It was the atmosphere, the wine."

"You always do this, you are defending him. You never seem to be on my side."

"That is not true."

"It is true Robert, and you know it!" Gouenji jolts up from his chair, fighting against the upcoming tears. "When something is bothering me you always defend the other party. Good for you that you can relate so much, but where are you when _I _need you? I always have this feeling that you are not taking me seriously, my problems are not important enough, because mister know it all with his life long experience has been in this situation before and knows exactly how the other must feel. Is it too much to ask that when I have troubles you try to relate to me instead of someone else? Just tell me I am right too for once, even if you don't mean it, I couldn't fucking care less. I just want you to bloody think about me for once!"

In the years that they have been together Robert managed to reduce the amount of swearwords Gouenji uses in his daily language. Of course he is still rude, but he keeps the dirty talk for in the bedroom, or when he is with his friends. Robert despises cursing. That Gouenji now subconsciously felt the need to swear indicates how hurt he must be.

"Shuuya, I am sorry that you feel like this. That was not my intention. I will listen to you, I promise, but please give me a chance to explain myself. Kidou-san came here for you; his relationship is on the edge. I am not defending his behaviour, and I never intended to keep quiet about the kiss, but your friend needs you. A difficult period is coming for them, and he could use your support."

"He can shove that support up his arse, maybe that will teach him to keep his hands off my husband."

Robert smiles gently, which results in a questioning and irritated look from Gouenji. "What?"

"Nothing," he says carefully. "I just thought that if I would tell you this you would change your mind and call him."

Gouenji remains silent for a while and looks around the room. There are two empty wine glasses on the table, and an almost empty bottle next to it. The evidence that Kidou has indeed visited tonight and it was not just his imagination is staring him in the face. This is not a nightmare Robert will be waking him from soon. This is truly happening. "Do you mean that, Robert?" The older man is startled by the bitterness in Gouenji's voice. "Do you still think that after three years together, after one year of marriage, that the moment Kidou is single again I will jump on him like some wildling? Do you have that little faith in me?"

"I have faith in you, but I do not trust your friend. After you introduced me to him, and especially after our wedding, I have this nasty feeling that he is regretting his decision and he wants to win you over. I know that it is ridiculous, but I am terrified to lose you, Shuuya." He holds Gouenji's hand in his own. "Sometimes I dread that I am not good enough for you, that I am too old, and that you will leave for someone younger than me."

Gouenji looks his husband in the eye, the man he loves dearly. He is able to see the uncertainty in his, and that is extraordinary. Robert is always quite sure of himself, and for him to show his weaknesses and put it all out there is not something common. But his anger and pain are winning from his feeling of realism, and the childlike feeling inside of him wants to hurt Robert as he had just hurt him. He pulls his hand back. "We are not all like you."

He looks at his husband once more before he leaves the room. "Sleep in the guestroom tonight. I don't want you around me." Then he slams the door shut behind him, leaving Robert behind. Alone again, in the hushed living room.

* * *

When Gouenji got up the bed was empty, of course, that phenomenon alone is not uncommon. Sometimes Robert has to leave for work early in the morning, but on top of that, Robert is a morning person. When Gouenji finally wakes up around ten or eleven in the morning, breakfast is waiting for him, and Robert already finished his usual jogging round and showered. But today the bedroom feels empty in a different way. The other side of the bed is unused. He himself had trouble falling asleep, it took him over three hours until he finally slept in, and once he was asleep he had an awful dream about his mother. The last time he had dreamed about her was when he was a teenager. Gouenji feels tired, listless and empty today.

The table in the living room is cleaned up and all the evidence of what happened last night is gone, but the uneasy feeling in Gouenji's chest remains and is still strong. Even his own living room feels unfamiliar. There is no good morning note on the dining table, but Robert's running shoes are gone which means he is already up. It won't be too long before he arrives home. He skips his breakfast, sends Toramaru a message that he'll be clocking in later today, and then drives straight to Teikoku Academy. He must speak with Kidou.

When he arrives Kidou's office isn't locked, but there is no sign of Kidou. Sakuma has probably opened it this morning, and forgot to unlock it. Kidou would never leave his office like this. He had hoped to find his friend here, alone. Sakuma now provides the training on the pitch, so he would have plenty of time to talk with Kidou about the events of last night. Against his better judgment Gouenji shuts the door behind him as he stepped into the office, where he then opens every unlocked drawer he is able to find. He doesn't know what he expects to find in here, he isn't even sure what he is looking for, but something in him wants to find anything that might suggest that there has been something going on between Robert and Kidou. He has been feeling for some time now that Robert is keeping something from him, if that is indeed the case, would he be able to find any clues here? Maybe what he is actually looking for is nothing, that all the drawers are tidy and ordered, just like Kidou himself, and it truly had been a mistake.

"Whaddya doin'?"

Gouenji is dismayed by Fudou's sudden appearance, he hadn't heard anyone coming in. "I...was looking for a file, and I couldn't reach Kidou so..."

"So you came to get it yourself?" Fudou snorts. "Thought the _Chairman _had better things to do, couldn't you ask yer little help to do it for you?"

"No, err..." Gouenji chuckles rather nervously as he shuts all the previously opened drawers. "Toramaru would kill me if he finds out I still don't have the files."

Fudou is eying him suspiciously, but shrugs his shoulders then. "Yuuto came home kinda wasted last night, and felt sick this morning so he's sleeping off his daze. Should I help you look? Four pairs of eyes see more than two, after all."

Gouenji smiles somewhat relieved and approaches one of the large file cabinets that are neatly placed against the wall. He pulls out an old folder and quickly snatches one of the papers. "No, I got it." He puts the folder back, folds the paper and puts it in the inside pocket of his blazer. "... How are you and Kidou doing?"

"Heh, odd subject change." Fudou drops himself on Kidou's office chair and places both of his feet on the desk. "Same old, same old, I guess." Like expected from Fudou, he keeps these things for himself. "Why, problems with yer sugar daddy, Shubby? You look miserable."

"Thanks." He remarks dryly, and takes the seat in front of him when Fudou gestures to it. He can't be bothered about the nicknames Fudou gives them anymore. Shubby is derived from the word 'husband', then 'hubby', and fuse them together, you get 'Shubby'. It is kind of adorable, but he forbids Robert from ever using it. He can only think of Fudou whenever he hears that word, and that's far from pleasant when you are bending over a kitchen table. Robert's nickname can no longer do evil either, and Robert seems to find it amusing. This is Fudou's way of communicating, and if you can't change it, then you better ought to accept it. "We had an argument last night."

"About?"

"I walked in on him with another man on the sofa last night." He says slowly. When he first told Fudou about his relationship with Robert, he had not expected to be discussing their relationship problems with him several years later. Normally he would feel more comfortable with his best friend to discuss matters as these, but he can't turn to him now. He feels bad because this matter also involves Fudou and he is hiding it for him after all the support he has given him in his own way, but it feels good to get it off his chest. "He says it was a misunderstanding, and that I am exaggerating, but they did kiss."

Fudou changes his position, both feet on the ground this time and his elbows are on the desk. He locks his fingers in front of his mouth as he gazes at him in full seriousness. "Do you know this person?"

"Yes, he approached Robert because he is facing some difficulties in his relationship, and Robert tried to help him. They had a little too much to drink. I don't know what I am supposed to think of it. Robert has been acting a little weird lately." He isn't sure why he is defending his husband all of the sudden by telling Fudou that there was alcohol involved. It is like he wants it to sound less serious than it actually is.

"Have you spoken with Robert 'bout it, or did you draw your own dramatic conclusions and locked yourself in your bedroom until the sunrise?"

"The latter." Gouenji confesses with shame.

"You'll have to talk with him about it if you want to solve this." Fudou, who had been staring firmly at Gouenji all this time, causing the blonde to feel rather uncomfortable, is finally looking away from him. His eyes are scanning the room, the desk, the cupboards, and then back to Gouenji. He feels that if he stays here any longer he might spill something stupid so he quickly rises from his seat. "I have everything I need. Thank you for listening, and I am sorry I had to bother you with this." He rushes out of the office, but before he opens the door Fudou's chill voice sounds behind him.

"It's Kidou, the man from last night, ain't it?" Fudou pushes himself upright. "No, don't answer. It wasn't an actual question. You have been worrying all night about what it could have meant, that kiss, maybe they were already having an affair. Because you can't talk about this with your husband you wanted to hear the story from the honest Kidou Yuuto himself, but he wasn't there so you started going through his stuff in the hope to find some clues, am I right?"

"What gave me away?"

"Eh, it's the combination." Fudou shrugs nonchalantly. "You're in his office without his invitation just as Sakuma is tentatively jutted. You were startled when I came in; you hadn't expected to see me here, so you came with the lameass excuse that you needed a file. If that'd been true then it would have been tidily located on the left side of Yuuto's desk, because unlike you, he is very neat and organised. The folder which you used is filled with settled cases that don't have any use anymore. Yuuto just has the bad habit to keep all of his paperwork. He would, however, never missed it since he doesn't open them anymore. Then, as last, you said there was alcohol involved. Yuuto came home drunk and hasn't said a single word to me, which implies that he feels guilty. And look at ya, you're a wreck. The Shuuya Quinn I know would let himself get pampered by his husband and won't come to work on a day like this."

"I am still firmly convinced that you've missed your calling as detective."

"It's just like on the field, analysing, figure out your opponents' weaknesses. Once you start it's easily habituated and it happens automatically. Yuuto was not the only genius player of Teikoku."

"I am sorry, Fudou."

"You don't have to. I am sorry that our shitty relationship got you in this mess." He approaches the blonde man and gives him an awkward patting on his shoulder when he passes him. "If you could excuse me now, I have a sleeping, drunk boyfriend who is just _dying_ to participate in the ice bucket challenge, and after that he has some nice swearwords waiting for him."

Fudou leaves the office, leaving Gouenji behind. He puts the paper back in the folder where it belongs and drives back to his own workplace. He has a long day ahead of him.


	4. Chapter 35

When Gouenji left the office the sun was already sinking behind the rooftop of the office building, as its colour fades from orange to crimson red, he unlocks his car and inhales the scent of new leather. Even after almost a year of driving it, the car still has its familiar scent. He managed to avoid Toramaru the entire day, after he enthusiastically brought the news that Robert had managed to make a new appointment for them with the interviewer, he sent him away to do a couple of chores for him outside the office. Robert hasn't called, not even once. Gouenji wouldn't have answered if he did, but now that he didn't he did not get the satisfaction of declining the call. They haven't contacted each other since last night. Robert knows that he needs his distance from him now, and deep inside he hates that Robert knows him well enough to not approach him today to avoid a new argument.

He starts the engine of his black _BMW M3 Cabrio _with the leather upholstery from December 2020, which Robert had get shipped from Germany to Japan last year. Different conflicts and scenarios ah had been running through his mind all day. On full throttle he rides on some secluded roads on the outskirts of the city. Usually this is the easiest way for him to forget all the stress when he's driving at full speed on the back roads along the edge of the city, the wind playing with his loose hair, but today nothing seems to brighten up his mood. After his conversation with Fudou it became clear to him that this misstep had been a onetime thing, his friends are having troubles with their relationship and he and Robert became the victims of their arguments. However, every time he reminds himself of this, there is this little voice in his head that whispers 'yet, but'. _Yes, but_ perhaps their relationship problems started _because _Kidou has an affair with his husband. Fudou may be right, Kidou is a very honest man, however he had been able to conceal an entire relationship for eight years before. He could be doing it again. Should he be pushing the blame on Kidou? Robert has been disloyal in a relationship before, what would be holding him back to cheat again? On top of that comes his strange behaviour Gouenji noticed before, but whenever he mentions it Robert tries to change the subject in the most effective way possible and Gouenji is not strong enough to resist once he's pressed back against the nearest object with his trousers on his ankles. But Gouenji could be wrong, and in that case he has mistreated Robert. He owes him a big apology that goes beyond sinking on his knees in the conference room. Will they be able to restore their trust, or is this the beginning of the end of their three-year relationship?

All these questions evoke an ominous feeling within him. His stomach is full knots and seems to turn because of his anxiety every time a new thought pops up in his head. When he left this morning Kidou's car was still on their driveway because he had been too drunk to drive home. Would it still be there, or would it be a good reason for another make out between the two males? He is slowly driving himself insane with all these questions, and he won't get an answer if he continues avoiding Robert. He stops his car, turns around, and drives the long road back home. Full of courage to ask the questions, but filled with fear to hearing the answers.

But he doesn't get home, his phone goes off halfway. By using the specially made button on his steering wheel he picks up.

"Shuuya-san?" It's Sophia, Robert's nineteen year old daughter who is calling him. She stays with them every other weekend, then Robert and Sophia go out together to catch up, and sometimes they even plan a trip with the three of them. Sophia and Gouenji's bond is getting stronger, but because of the small age gap between the two of them she finds it difficult to seriously acknowledge him as parent. Gouenji is content with their relationship as it is now, he's just glad he is getting along with his stepdaughter better than before. Sophia had been eight when her parents first separated, and like any kid would be, she was thrilled when her parents told her they were going to try it again after they moved to Japan, but even she noticed that after five years of trying it did not work out anymore between her parents. Almost ten years later her parents divorced for the second time. It has been a tough period for her, especially when she was first told about her father's new relationship. When Robert and Gouenji first started going out they travelled a lot together, her father had been away from home most of the time. When she found out that her father had been avoiding home because he was having an affair with a younger man it was a slap in the face. They hardly spoke to each other, and they're working hard now to restore the father-daughter bond they once had. "Could you pick me up?"

Gouenji throws a quick glance at the digital clock on his display; it's almost eight o'clock, where should he be picking her up around this time? "I don't know Sophia, maybe you should ask your father."

"Do you remember when you forgot that I'd be coming over for the weekend and I walked in on you half naked in the sitting room with nothing more than a tie and thong with leopard print, and a tail hanging out of your slip? No questions asked was the deal, and if I would not mention it to dad that I saw you I was allowed to ask you for a favour. Remember, _Mamarachi*_?" Gouenji's face turns a deep shade of red. Robert and Sophia are very similar, and she definitely inherited his brains and ways of getting things done with the necessary sweet talk or blackmail. "Where should I pick you up?"

He finds her about twenty minutes later on the side of the road, her make-up is smeared in dark lines underneath her eyes and she's benumbed with cold because she's poorly dressed for this time of the year with just a thin shirt and shorts. He'll leave the disapproving look for what she's wearing to Robert, he hadn't looked much better when she found him. Instead of driving home he stops at a roadside restaurant. With two cups of steaming, cheap coffee he walks back to the girl who is shivering underneath Gouenji's jacket on one of the uncomfortable stools. She gratefully holds the plastic cup in her hands and folds her hands around it to warm herself up. "Thanks for being so cool about this, dad would never get it."

She had been silent the entire journey, but now she's finally opening up as the warm liquid slides down her throat and the caffeine gives her a little boost. She tells him about a guy, a man rather, he's five years older. "Dad would never approve of him, but he shouldn't judge with his almost thirty years younger boyfriend." She grins for a brief moment. "No offence." She tells him how this has been going on for a while now, and she wanted to surprise him today with a visit but she found him in bed with someone else. She always thought that this wouldn't happen to her, she is not the naive kind of girl, but she was blinded by love and he broke her heart. Gouenji listens to what she has to say, tells her that he understands, gives her advice on how to cope with a broken heart and together they make a plan to take vengeance on the guy. After an hour, and a second cup of coffee he finally managed to make his stepdaughter smile again.

"It is not as if I am not happy to see your smile, but I have to ask, not only as your stepfather but also as a friend; has he touched you against your will?"

Sophia's eyes wander around the room, unable to look him in the eye. "No, but we did sleep together a couple of times, but it was because I wanted it."

"I am relieved to hear that, you are nineteen and an adult by law, I just hope that you will be careful." He puts his hand across hers and two bright, blue eyes, that remind him so much of Robert, are gratefully staring back at him. "I am going to bring you home now; your mother must be worried."

Back in the car Sophia tries to redo her make up with what she carries with her in her bag so she'll look somewhat presentable when she has to face her mother. Adjusting her makeup is not the easiest, especially not with Gouenji's speed. After poking herself in the eye with her mascara for the third time a number of profanities leave her mouth, words Robert surely hasn't taught her. But Gouenji isn't as strict as he is, and they are able to laugh at it together, in the end, he got the distraction he was in need of too. When she is about to leave his car when they reached her mother's house he calls her back. "The best medicine for a broken heart is new clothes. Do you dare to be seen with me Saturday at the mall?" Her enthusiastic smile tells him more than enough. "I'll see you then." He says before he rolls the window back up and takes off again. On the way home he loses all the courage he gathered earlier today. He is exhausted and wants to curl up and sleep. He has no desire to talk to Robert, deep down; he is still angry and hurt.

"Where have you been?"

With some force Gouenji puts his suitcase on the table and grabs a beer from the fridge, something they keep cold in case of unexpected guests as neither of them drinks beer, but tonight Gouenji is craving for a fresh, cold beer, drunk directly from the bottle. "Out." Is his gruffly reply as he searches through the cabinets for an opener.

"Do you know what time it is? I was worried something happened. You should have called."

"Didn't cross my mind. Sorry." Gouenji feels like a teenager who arrived home passed the time they agreed on. It immensely irritates him that Robert is treating him like an annoying child instead of an equal. "Don't count on me this weekend; I have lots of work to do." It feels good to speak to Robert like this, it feels like he is finally in control, and he didn't even mean his apology. He locks himself in his room, surrounded by his favourite chocolate and beer. Perhaps not the best combination, but it is exactly what he needs right now. He is glad he was able to help Sophia, but it will be difficult for him to keep this for himself. She had asked him to keep quiet, she will tell him once she is ready, and Gouenji understands that she needs time. He turns on the big TV which is on the opposite of the bed and buries himself between the cushions, until he falls asleep before he could even remove his clothes.

* * *

* _Mamachichi_ = stepfather

* * *

Saturday afternoon Gouenji picks her up and drives them to the mall, where they try different outfits for Sophia, and also Gouenji gets a complete makeover. At work he may look pretty decent in his suit and still questionable cravat, but once he's home the worst garments seem to be leaving his closet. From baggy sweaters with unfunny texts on it to tight, zebra printed trousers. Where he buys them, Robert and Sophia have yet to figure out, especially since Robert had to annihilate his credit card and deactivate his _eBay_ account. After Sophia picked a simple, black t-shirt with a subtle v-neck, new jeans with matching shoes and tied his hair the two of them seated themselves on a terrace where Sophia ordered a 7-up and Gouenji a diet coke. Sophia is very similar to her father, not only is the resemblance striking such as the blue eyes and her smile that reminds Gouenji of his husband, but it is also the way of talking, her humour and endless patience. Of course he had to reduce his amount of sexually suggestive jokes, but Gouenji can't help but slide his arm around her waist when another saleswoman mistakes them for a couple.

"I didn't think that my dad's boyfriend would be this cool." She says between bites of her chocolate muffin. "You're so very different from mom."

"And I had no idea that having an adolescent stepdaughter on the age of twenty-seven would be this much fun." Sophia playfully kicks his shin under the table. "Mom always said these nasty things about you; it's quite something that the man you had over for dinner turns out to be your husband's lover, who is also thirty years younger than him. I really hadn't seen that coming."

"It was your father's idea, but I am deeply ashamed. Hindsight, coming over for dinner multiple times even is very impolite."

Sophia bursts out in laughter. "You and feeling ashamed? You were just walking around half naked through the store pretending to be a disabled person who was looking for his companion. _ I _felt so embarrassed; you were having the time of your life." She puts her drink down and plays with the transparent straw that pops out the bottle. "But seriously, I hated you. I saw you as the reason that my parents were separating, although I knew that dad was unhappy. He is so different, so full of life, when he's standing next to you. Of course the age difference is a little weird, I had to get used to it, but now I kinda like to have a gay stepdad with whom I can shop, and call when my boyfriend dumps me." She chuckles softly. "What was especially difficult was seeing dad with you so much, I felt like he was forgetting me. It has been like that, even before they divorced, if it's not you then he's completely caught up in his work. I was eight when dad had a complete burn out. He barely ate, was depressed, he even lacked the energy to work. Because of the stress he developed cardiac problems; he was constantly at the hospital. That was the toughest period of my childhood; I couldn't see him because I was too young and lived with my mother. It happened just after the separation." Sophia's voice is much softer now. "Every time the phone rang I was scared that it was the hospital with the news that dad passed."

Gouenji swallows hard and puts his hand on Sophia's to give it an encouraging squeeze. "I am really glad you came in his life, Shuuya-san, he was so miserable. If it hadn't been for you, dad could have sunk back in his depression, and who knows what could have happened. He might not even have been here anymore. Dad is a new man, and he's happy now, and that's because of you." Gouenji has to swallow back his tears; he doesn't deserve these kind words. He is not making Robert happy now, and it makes him feel guilty. From the corner of his eye he sees two familiar faces passing them. A girl with pink braids, and a guy with dark blue hair. They are holding hands. Gouenji immediately gets up from his chair. "Is that Yuuka-chan?" Sophia asks curiously. "She has grown since the last time I saw her, that was on your wedding. And isn't that your stepbrother?" She gives him a questioning look, but when she sees his facial expression she knows the answers.

"I am going to follow them."

"Shuuya-san!" She rushes after him through the shopping centre, moving from plan to wall to keep a close eye on the couple from a safe distance. Obviously the two of them are unaware that they're being followed. When Toramaru leans in for a kiss on Yuuka's lips Gouenji makes strangling motions with his hands. They would be in big trouble if his assistant's neck had truly been there. "What's the problem? They are not related by blood, and you can't help who you fall in love with." Sophia puts her hand on her stepfather's shoulder. Now she understands what her father meant with that he can be very unreasonable and childish for his age when things don't go his way.

"The problem is that someone is touching my little sister without my knowledge."

"She is not a teenager anymore, and she doesn't need your protection." She sighs. "If she is anything like her brother then she will be fine on her own. If there's something bothering her she will come to you. And I've met him; he's a good guy."

"You don't know him like I do."

"You gave him a job as your personal assistant. Hey," she makes her stepfather turn around so he's facing her again, and holds him tightly by his shoulders. "let it go. By the way, as it looks like now, they totally hooked up already. There is no going back now."

Gouenji's face heathens up and whilst laughing Sophia holds him by his waist so he can't run after his younger siblings and can't throw Toramaru over the edge of the fountain. "You have a family dinner with them tonight, you can't murder him now!"

With a kiss on the cheek as a goodbye Sophia leaves the car after he brought her home. He sent Robert a message that he won't return home before dinner and they'll meet at the restaurant. The family tradition was revived and the whole family comes together every two months in Utsunomiya's restyled restaurant, where Toramaru still has a part time job. It is an understatement that Gouenji doesn't feel like socialising with the family tonight. He and Robert still haven't made up, or argued, so the atmosphere will be far from optimal. He wants to get everything out of the way with Robert; he misses him with his whole heart. The calls and text messages during the day, the nice touches when he arrives home, and Robert's strong arms around him when they're cuddling in bed. But the words 'I am sorry' are unable to leave his lips. Why should he be sorry? He is not the one who cheated.

But he could apologise for drawing conclusions way too fast, he could say sorry for yelling at him, not believing him, and forbidding him from entering their bedroom. He is avoiding the confrontation because he is afraid of what will follow, but his evasive behaviour is exactly what is driving them apart. An argument is inevitable at this point; the tension between them is getting stronger without even saying a word to each other. Robert also makes no effort in contacting him, and that troubles him more than anything else.

Gouenji enters the restaurant, late as usual, but that was only because when he first arrived it had been together with Robert, so he quickly drove past the building and waited for ten minutes on a safe distance until he finally dared to leave his car. Robert questionably quirked an eyebrow when he saw Gouenji's new clothes, but he didn't mention it. They greeting had not been more than a brief kiss on the cheek to keep up the appearances for the family. Apparently neither of them was planning to let the family in on their problems. Robert behaved excellently and occupied himself with deep conversations with Gouenji's father, as usual. But they all found it rather strange when Gouenji ordered a roasted duck, because he and Robert switched to a vegetarian diet a couple of months ago and turned into strict vegetarians. Robert thought it was healthier for the both of them, and with his cooking skills the missing meat is no loss, but Gouenji wanted to play a nasty trick on his husband.

"Oh, Nii-san, I saw you at the mall today!" Toramaru notes during the main course. "I wasn't sure if it was you at first, because you looked so different, but when I saw you walk in with your new clothes just now I was sure!" Gouenji tries to end the subject by answering with an indifferent 'could be', but apparently his stepbrother had not been done yet. "You were there with a young woman, but I couldn't see who it was. You seemed to be having a lot of fun together!"

Gouenji can feel Robert's piercing eyes on him but he refuses to look up from his dish. He told him that he'd be at the office the entire day. Of course he thought it was strange that Gouenji showed up with a complete new outfit, but Toramaru is making it worse for him. "Now that you mention it, I saw you too." Gouenji straightens his back and looks Toramaru and his sister in the eye. "_You _seemed to be having a very good time as well." This time Toramaru and Yuuka are turning red in shame, and his own father's cheeks are turning darker too. They will be in trouble for sure, but he is more worried about his own problems once they get home.

Before they start with dessert Robert excuses himself, and immediately all the heads turn to Gouenji. They all want to know what is going on between the usual very cheerful couple, since they both seem to be in a bad mood. Gouenji thought that they were acting nicely upon their not agreed play, but apparently the whole family already noticed that something was off. Gouenji explained that Robert had a tough day and he was just a little tired, nothing more to it. When Robert returned the charade continued, and this time the whole family was participating. Gouenji realised too now how distant they were, yes they were friendly with each other and Gouenji passed the salt when Robert asked for it, but they didn't have any other contact, and conversations they had concluded with vicious accusations and comments to each other. Gouenji wonders whether Someoka's parents had communicated together like them before they parted. The way Robert and Gouenji are interacting with each other, they seem to be on the verge of a divorce.

It's quiet in the living room, apart from Gouenji's typing on his keyboard and Robert occasionally turning a page. The couple drove back separately in their own cars and once they arrived home they went their own ways. They're in the same room, but it's almost like they aren't there. Robert is seated on the sofa with a memoir from one of his favourite photographers, and Gouenji is working on his laptop. He still needs to get some work done. Fudou is quite behind on the paperwork for Resistance Japan, and he is getting tired of having to remind the coach over and over again that he has more task than yelling at those kids. It is difficult for him to get in touch with Fudou, or Kidou. If Fudou was in pain after their conversation when he found out it was his boyfriend who cheated on him with Robert he hid that extremely well. On the other hand, that's Fudou. He doubts that he will ever know how Fudou honestly felt on the way home with the plan to give Kidou quite a scare with ice cold water. How would it have been for Fudou to see his boyfriend come home drunk when he got home that night? Did he laugh because Kidou gets more talkative and especially horny when he's drunk? And the next morning when Fudou furiously returned, did they fight? Of course they did, Fudou is not like Gouenji, he doesn't back down from a conflict. It must have been a heavy fight, those two argue over the littlest things. And after the argument, what happened then?

The sound of his phone interrupts the uncomfortable silence. Spoken of the devil, it's Fudou. Gouenji glances at Robert's direction, and he stares right back at him, alarmed by the noise of Gouenji's ringtone. He is not in the mood for this, Robert doesn't have to eavesdrop every conversation, and moreover, this is work related. He grabs his phone and heads to their home office for some privacy.

"I just wanted to call you," he starts the conversation once he picked up. "I am still missing some results from at least half of the team members. I asked you to keep track of their individual progress since they joined Resistance Japan, and I expected it to be done a couple of days ago. Are you almost finished?"

"Yeah, 'bout that, I called to let you know I'm resigning as coach. I'm moving back to Italy."

"Why?" Gouenji asks after a long silence.

"Yuuto and I broke up. It didn't work out anymore." Gouenji is shocked; he doesn't know how to react. The news is like a slap in his face. Could this be because Kidou cheated? No, Fudou told him that it had not been working for them for a while now, and that's why Kidou visited that night after all. He needed Gouenji's advice about his relationship with Fudou. Like Gouenji already concluded, the couple did fight. He didn't get a lot of details from Fudou, but whichever way they looked at it, they could only come with one solution for their problems. They had to separate. "Could you tell Kageyama-san please? I need to start packing my bags. I am leaving as soon as possible."

After their conversation on the phone Gouenji locks himself in their bedroom and crawls underneath the covers. In the dark, his thoughts were running through his mind on full speed. He must admit it, when Robert and Gouenji had been nothing more than an exciting affair he often wished that Kidou and Fudou would break up. He would then support him as his best friend, and in a moment of weakness he'd take his chance to conquer him. The chance he 'missed' when Kidou came for support, but not Gouenji but Robert opened the door. Deep inside Gouenji is relieved that he hadn't been home that day, who knows what he might have done in his own moment of weakness if Kidou had kissed him. He feels nothing for Kidou anymore and he doesn't _want _do feel anything for him. He is happy with Robert. He turns on his other side once more. He _was _happy with Robert. More than anything he'd like to jump out of his bed and rush into Robert's arms, but his stubbornness keeps him in bed. He's still so enraged, so broken on the inside. He still hasn't figured out yet how to cope with what happened. So he stays where he is, alone in the dark in their huge bed, for the fifth night in a row. Their bed, in which the cushions smell like Robert and the warmth of his body is missing. He didn't even wish him goodnight.

Gouenji is an even bigger wreck than usual the next morning. He woke up, his body sticky with sweat, after several nightmares. He remembers that he and Robert had a fight, and he fled the house. When he came back to settle things with him, it had been suspiciously quiet around the house. Suddenly he was standing in front of their bedroom door; soft moaning could be heard coming from the other side of the closed door. The door slowly opened by itself and all Gouenji could see first was Robert's bare back; he was on top of someone. His first thought was Kidou, but when he looked closer he saw the face of his own mother who was clinging on Robert's body and crying out in pleasure after each thrust. Fortunately for him, the shock had been so big that he immediately woke up. He was exhausted, completely broken, and too anxious to go back to sleep after that horrifying dream. There was no Robert to cling on, so he lay alone in the dark, waiting until the alarm finally went off and he had to drag himself out of bed to take a shower.

Gouenji is drained, he read the same sentence thrice but he can't bring his focus to it. On his desk there's a big pile of work that seems to increase every hour. He still has to call Kuroiwa to inform him about Fudou, but if there is anything he is not in the mood for then it's listening to Kuroiwa scolding on the phone about how incompatible Fudou is for leaving his work behind. He himself had assigned him as coach of Resistance Japan, talking about being hypocrite. Every time he thinks of Fudou the knot in his stomach grows bigger and heavier, he feels guilty about their break up. Fudou assured him that their separation had nothing to do with him or Robert, but Gouenji can't shake the unpleasant feeling. The rain is ticking hard against his office window; the drops are flowing down over the glass. It has been dark and grey outside since he got up this morning. Despite the gloomy weather it brings him back to happy memories, when Robert took him for a trip to London.

It had been another one of Robert's surprises, a weekend getaway in October. He can't recall if it had been a special occasion, but Robert and Gouenji always had something to celebrate. Only to their regret it had rained the entire weekend. Nevertheless, the married couple finished their guidebook with clichés to visit. They had seen the clock tower of the Palace of Westminster and enjoyed a romantic right in the 135 meter high Ferris wheel the London Eye (after surviving the queue of almost one and a half hour). The long wait had been worth it, the view was breathtaking despite the rain and sky as grey as Robert's hair.

After an afternoon tea from about 70 pounds per person their next visitation had been at the famous Shakespeare Theatre the Globe, because Robert, with his cultural interests had always wanted to see the famous theatre. They had a dinner reservation at the Aqua Shard, located on the 31st floor of The Shard, in which they serve innovative contemporary British cuisine and boasts breathtaking views from its restaurant. There hadn't been enough time to go all the way up to the 69st floor, because Robert arranged tickets for the match of West Ham United FC, the football club where Edgar Valtinas now plays as ace striker.

They saved shopping at Westfield London for last, in the hope that it would clear up, but they had to find their way through the hurried Britons with countless umbrellas. The last surprise came Sunday morning, a chocolate and coffee tour of Nothing Hill. Three and a half hour long it was a leisurely walking tour where they could sit at each location they visited, sampling bars, truffles, brownie, biscuits and coffee.

Did _you_ know coffee was originally eaten, and chocolate was originally only drunk? They ate and drank both with coffee from some of the finest small-batch roasters, brewed by talented baristas and handmade chocolates, and hot chocolate from chocolatiers from around the world. They started with the focus on coffee, then moved to chocolate, and it got even better; there was an opportunity for even more coffee if they wanted, until by the end of the tour they could not fit another piece of chocolate or sip of coffee.

The buzzer of his work phone jolts Gouenji from his daydream about chocolate and Robert, and his mood is immediately worse than before. "Toramaru, when I said that I'd make a new cravat from your hair if you would bother me I meant it." His irritated voice bawls through the microphone.

"I am sorry to bother you, _Kaicho_, but there is someone who wants to speak to you. He says that it's urgent." Says a female voice. He forgot that it's Toramaru's day off. Gouenji sighs deeply. "Who is it?"

"Nikaidou Shuugo-san, sir."

Gouenji leans back on his chair with a broad grin on his face after he instructed his assistant to send him to his office. So his old coach is back in town and has some urgent business to discuss with him, hm? Finally some good news. This could be interesting.

"It has been a while, coach Nikaidou." He welcomes the man in his office. When the purple-blue haired man enters Gouenji notes that he hasn't changed much. He has aged, but they all have in the past fifteen years, and time seems to be suiting his old coach well. It helps him remember that he had been in love once before he fell for Kidou, he had had a major crush on his coach, and seeing him here in his own office awakens old, formerly buried, longing feelings inside of him.

"The last time I saw you, you put me out of my position as coach for _Kidokawa Seishuu, _and you left the team in the hands of Afuro Terumi."

"I did not put you out of your function, I tried to protect your job, I was trying to protect football. I put Aphrodi on the team because I trust his soccer. He is strong willed, trustful and perspective. I had foreseen that he would be the right man to bring back the team spirit _Kidokawa _had lost. In addition, I made sure that you and your family were safe by sending you to a region where the influence of the Fifth Sector was still minimal."

"And I am still grateful to you." Nikaidou bows politely with a friendly smile on his face. "But I am here to request my old position as coach of Kidokawa Seishuu."

"I will see that I can do for you." Gouenji is about to take a note of it in his calendar to remind himself of this matter once he's finished with all his overdue work, when Nikaidou rushes towards him.

"Please Gouenji, I am asking you as an old friend. I need my job back."

"What is wrong with your current position?" His voice is doubtful. "What exactly is bringing you back here?"

His former coach slumbers in the chair on the other side of the desk; he suddenly seems older, and miserable. "I am in the middle of a divorce, and I need money. I gave her almost everything I had so I could break free from the whole lawsuit as soon as possible. Please, Gouenji, don't just think about it. I would do anything to get my job back." He places his hand on top of Gouenji's smaller hand. "_Anything_."

Gouenji stares at him, he is confused. This man has been his fantasy since he was thirteen years old. His brown eyes, his purple-blue hair mixed with stripes of grey, he had always wondered how that would look on his chest. His unkempt appearance. This man has something so ordinary that it caught Gouenji's interest. Besides Kidou, and Robert of course, he never had feelings for someone before that went beyond lust. And now that man is standing in front of him, prepared to do anything to get his job back. Gouenji rises slowly from his chair, walking around his own desk, and never breaking eye contact with his former coach. He positions himself on his own desk, right next to the chair the other man is sitting in, and guides Nikaidou's hand to his thigh.

"I am very occupied as Chairman, but I think I could make an exception for my old tutor. After all you taught me about football; it might be time to return the favour." He calls his assistant to inform her that he wishes to not be disturbed for the next hours, and gives his full attention to his coach.

Not long after he's half naked, pushed back on his desk and all of his paper work is spread around the room. His bare leg wraps around Nikaidou's waist while the older man takes off his shirt. Nikaidou is exactly how he imagined, he is less muscular than before, but his tanned skin is still incredibly sexy with his wild, curly chest hair. Somewhere in his head he hears a whiny voice; don't do it, you're married. But Gouenji pushes that thought away. Still, that's harder than he imagined. Nikaidou's hands aren't Robert's. It are not his lips, and it's not his voice he hears when Gouenji reaches for the man's crotch. He thought that having sex with this man would make him feel better; his fantasy of his teenage years coming true, but doesn't feel anything but wrong. He must not seek revenge on Robert because Kidou kissed him. It hadn't been his fault, but Gouenji acted like a jerk. Overwhelmed by an intense feeling of guilt he pushes Nikaidou away from him and reaches for his clothes.

"Please leave!" He yells to the confused man as he tries to fasten the button of his shirt with his trembling hands. "You will get your job back, but please leave my office immediately and don't contact me again!"

"I— thank you. Thank you so much." Nikaidou collects his removed garments and hurries back into his clothes. Before he can leave the office Gouenji calls after him.

"You and your wife, why are you separating?"

"She cheated on me, we tried to save our relationship, but I couldn't take it anymore. It is better this way."

Gouenji sinks on his chair, his hands buried in his hair. Cheating and breakups continue to haunt him. First Kidou and Fudou, now his former coach. He just cheated, like Robert. Not like Robert, he didn't want it. Gouenji wanted this. Did he truly do this because he still wants to hurt Robert for that one mistake? After everything he has done for him, and Gouenji repays him with the first chance he has to shag with a man he used to love. Robert was right to doubt him, if he had been in his husband's position that night he might have slept with Kidou. He was weak. He is weak. He has to go home; he needs to be honest with Robert. He is ready to confront him now, he might lose Robert, but that is nothing but his own fault. His fear of losing Robert is turning to something real, and it is his own stupid fault.

He's dragging himself back to their house. Robert is waiting for him in the living; before he got in the car he sent him a message.

_**"I am finally ready to talk."  
**_**  
**But he is not as ready anymore, and his confidence has dramatically decreased on the way home, but now that he's looking Robert right in the eye, there is no turning back. His beautiful, blue eyes carry the same sadness and fear as his own, dark eyes. He realises he hasn't paid as much attention to his appearance as he usually does, Robert seems tired, there are dark bags under his eyes. He looks like he hasn't slept in weeks. He is ill-shaved, and withdrawn to himself. He seems like a complete different person.

"Am I too old?" Robert is the first one to break the silence. Gouenji stares blankly at him for a moment, he came home ready to confess, he hadn't counted on this. "Toramaru said he saw you with a young lady. Are you having an affair with her?" His voice is hoarse, broken. This must be what kept Robert awake at night, alone in the guestroom.

"No, idiot! A woman? What's wrong with you?" He feels a wave of rage rushing through his body, he's so angry at himself. How could he be so selfish and naive? All this time he wanted to hurt Robert, he wanted him to feel the same pain as he was going through, without realising Robert felt awful enough without Gouenji's acts of revenge. He had sleepless nights too because of his concerns about their relationship.

Robert's eyes fill with hope; Gouenji's voice had been too cheerful, too familiar for how he felt at the moment. Robert wants to wrap both of his arms around him and embrace his husband, but Gouenji pushes him away. "But I did cheat on you. Today, in my office. He wanted sex, and I did too, I think, but I couldn't do it. I don't know what has gotten into me. I could only think of you and pushed him off me before we could do anything, but I did think of it. I wanted...I wanted to deliberately hurt you. "

His husband lets himself fall back onto the sofa and stares emotionlessly to nowhere in particular. "Who was it?"  
"Robert..."

"Who was it?!"

Gouenji flinches when he raises his voice, which rarely happens. Sometimes he gets mad at his daughter, but no quarrel between them has ever been so intense that the calm Robert had felt the need to raise his voice. "My old coach, he must be in his late forties, early fifties now."

"I could understand a woman of your own age; I would have thought that I deserved it if you slept with Kidou-san as act of revenge. I told myself that I could live with those scenarios, I would accept it and apologise for my own behaviour, but this...an older man?" His voice is soft and low. Gouenji is shaking on his legs. He would like to sit down before he collapses on the spot, but he doesn't dare to move an inch. "You did it, Shuuya. Congratulations. You had your revenge, you broke me. I have never felt this hurt in my entire life."

"I was unreasonable, Iwas furious because of what happened with Kidou. I know it doesn't change anything that I rejected this man before anything could happen between us, but Robert, I ..." He chokes on his tears, he was prepared to lose Robert when he came here, but everything feels different now. He told himself that he wouldn't fight it if Robert wanted to separate, he'd set him free and Robert would be able to make himself happy again without him. But he can't lose his husband; he can't go on without him.

"I don't know what to believe, Shuuya. Once, you say, but what were those mysterious phone calls about? Working late, lying about your appointments and whereabouts. If you are not cheating on me for some time now, then why all the secrecy?"

"I can't tell you." He's watching his man with pain in his eyes, who gets up to walk to the other side of the room.

"Our marriage is at stake here, and you are telling me that you have more to hide? I told you _everything_ that happened that night, my feelings, every tiny detail. Not a word of that was a lie, and I hoped that when you were ready for it you would be honest with me too. Then we could decide whether we want to continue our relationship or end it. But when push comes to shove you still can't be honest with me?"

Tears are flowing over Gouenji's cheeks. It's over, they're finished. "I'm sorry." He's sobbing quietly. He is still unable to move, but if he could, he would have run away from this a long time ago. The lack of sleep and his broken state are taking their toll on his body. All he can do is stand here, cry, and watch as his relationship with Robert is coming to an end. "I really can't ..."

"This is your last chance, Shuuya." Robert threatens with an anguished voice. "If you refuse to tell me our marriage is over."

"Do you really want to know?" Gouenji takes a deep breath. "It was your daughter, she needed me. A little more than a week ago she called me; she was broken, dumped by the man she was in a relationship with. She didn't dare to tell you because she was afraid of your judgement so she called me instead to pick her up."

"And you were hiding this from me?! This is about my _daughter, _Shuuya, how could you?"

"I promised her I would keep my mouth shut, she wanted to come to you and tell you in person when she was ready! It was awful to see how devastated she was, what that guy did to her. I saw laugh when I tried to cheer her up, but she was in so much pain. So I took her out on the day of the family dinner to distract her. That's all that happened. I tried to be a father figure for her, something she missed because you're lacking. You barely even look at her! I appreciate all of your attention and I know I am asking a lot from you, but there's someone more important than me who needs you Robert! But you only focus on your work sometimes; you don't even call her anymore. Are you aware of how much she hated you, and that those feelings still haven't faded but she misses you at the same time? She _needs _you Robert, as a real father!"

In the haze of his own tears and anger, he is unable to see that Robert is crying. He doesn't see how Robert is turning paler when the painful stream of words are cutting into his skin. He can't see how Robert is gasping for air, reaches for his chest, and with his other hand tries to grab the table for support when he loses his balance and falls forward. After a loud thud, the first thing that Gouenji is able to see is his husband lying on the floor. Shards of glass from the side table around him, and a growing, dark pool of blood around his head.

The next few hours are a blur for Gouenji. He doesn't know how much time it took before he was able to move again, but apparently in his panic he called the emergency number. He can't remember the ambulance staff coming into their home and the ride to the hospital. Right now he's sitting in the waiting room, broken with grief and concern. He doesn't know where Robert is, or what they are doing with him now. He remembers that he saw his father in a flash, but it could be that he sat next to him for a while. He's too dazed to take anything in. There is a dense fog in his mind. What if he loses Robert? The last thing he said to him was that he's a lousy father. The past couple of hours he was in conflict, he was willing to give up his relationship and prepared to lose Robert in exchange for honesty, then he realised that he couldn't continue without him, but what will happen next? If Robert doesn't get through this then... Gouenji squeezes his eyes shut and presses the palms of his hands against his eyelids. He would give everything up, as long as Robert remains alive.

"Shuuya?"

His head jolts up, his first thought was Robert, because he is one of the few, in addition to his family, who calls him by his first name. Standing in front of him is not Robert of course, but Kidou. The first thing he notices about his friend is that his eyes are lustreless behind his transparent glasses. Kidou sits down next to him and a long silence follows. Neither of them says a word, they're just staring at the closed door in front of them.

"I am sorry."

Gouenji slowly raises his head; the man next to him is in tears. He wonders why Kidou is crying, he doesn't know Robert that well, does he? Or perhaps he does, maybe they really had a...

"I am so sorry, Gouenji. I shouldn't have kissed him. Akio told me how much you were suffering. I wasn't thinking, I was drunk and despondent. And Robert was... he was himself, and I took advantage of that. I hate that I hurt you, again. I had no intention of ruining your relationship as well. If you could ever forgive me then..."

Gouenji embraces his friend. "I forgive you." He whispers. The brunette is surprised by his quick response, until he feels Gouenji's body shaking against him. He wraps both of his arms around his friend's back and holds him tightly. Gouenji grabs onto Kidou's clothing and cries, he lets out all of the feelings he had bottled up. Kidou isn't sure if Gouenji has actually forgiven him, or that he was talking to Robert, but he's grateful that he is here with his friend now to support him, and he lets him cry against his chest.

After Gouenji sobbed in silence for almost fifteen minutes Kidou can feel him move. He lets go of him and the blonde shifts back to take his own place again. Kidou hands him his handkerchief so he can dry his tears. "Thank you for coming." He says softly. "How did you know?"

"Your father called me, he thought that you could use the support. I take it that you haven't told him about our fight."

Gouenji shakes his head. "Even if I did, he still would have called you. It would have been a good time to settle everything."

"Have we reconciled?"

"We have." Gouenji looks at his friend, he sees now that Kidou has lost some weight. He must have too; he hasn't had a proper meal in days. "Fudou told me that you broke up, that must be tough."

"It was my own fault, I doubted our relationship. I wanted more from Akio than I thought he was able to give me. Only when he was gone I realised that this was the dumbest mistake of my life. I'd rather give everything I wanted up for him, than that I give up on Akio."

"Is he in Italy already?"

"Yes," Kidou laughs through his tears. "The craziest part was that he didn't have enough cash money to pay for a taxi, and he was too stubborn to borrow money from me, so we agreed that I would bring him to the airport. I shouldn't have done that, it was a terrible mistake. I should have pushed that damn money in his hands, because once I was standing there the goodbye felt heavier than before. When I reached home and saw how empty our— my house looks without him I broke down in tears. It doesn't feel like home anymore without Akio's stuff making the place. It's empty, like no-one has lived there before. I am thinking of selling it."

"Or you put your own stubbornness aside and call him."

"I can't." Kidou tilts his head back and sighs heavily. "I don't think he wants me back."

"Did you not just say you were willing to give up everything to get him back? What do you have left to lose anyway? Call him tonight. If I know Fudou as well as I think I do, and believe me, I do, he's being just as stubborn as you and waiting for your call."

"Thank you, Gouenji." Kidou smiles gently at him. "And you and Robert?"

"If he comes out of this alive, I will do everything I can to make this up to him. If he still wants to give us a chance." Kidou gives him an encouraging squeeze in his leg.

"Shuuya?" That's his father's voice. He quickly stands up from the uncomfortable, plastic chair. "We ran a couple of tests and it seems like he will recover without any complications. He is awake now and asking for you, are you ready to see him?"

His father doesn't need to tell him that for a second time. He thanks Kidou and his father and then rushes to the hospital room where Robert is waiting for him. He's sitting straight up in bed with various tubes coming out his body, and squeaky devices. There's a bandage around his head where the glass cut into his skin when he hit the table. He realises now how lucky Robert has been. "Should you be sitting upright already? You just had a major heart surgery, and you have a concussion."

"I am feeling better already." His voice is unusually weak and hoarse, which is contradicting his words. Gouenji sits on the chair on the side of the bed and keeps Robert's hand in his as he observes his wounds. The bandage has a faint red colour where is head is still bleeding. "I thought I had lost you."

Robert looks at him for a while without saying anything; Gouenji averts his gaze and lets it wander around the room. He recognises the heart rate monitor, but all those colourful lines tell him nothing. His father tried to explain the meaning of them to him when he was younger, but the profession of being a doctor is just not for him. On the small table next to the hospital bed there's some of Robert's personal stuff, including his wedding ring. His eyes dart back to Robert, who, in the yellowish light of the fluorescent lamps, looks even older than usual. His face is grey, and the wrinkles on his face, which Gouenji normally finds very attractive, seem deeper. "What happened?" He finally asks when Robert doesn't answer.

"I remember we were arguing, while you were talking I felt a pressure in my chest, it felt like I couldn't breathe. I remember the pain in my chest and the uncomfortable feeling I had for a while increased. But after that, nothing."

"What do you mean with 'a while'?"

"The reason that I am trying to live as healthy as possible is because I have a weak heart, it has always been like that, it runs in the family. My grandfather and father both deceased from cardiac arrest at a young age, despite their healthy lifestyle. It's the stress that makes it lethiferous."

"I thought your father lost his life in the Vietnam War?"

"He did, but because of a heart failure. They were preparing themselves for battle when he suddenly collapsed." Gouenji doesn't know what to say; sometimes it surprises him how little he knows of Robert's life. Does Robert knowingly keep it from him, or has he never bothered to ask? "I've been in the hospital once before because of a heart attack when I was forty-four, but it had been less intense. That time it was because of the stress at work, my first divorce with Jill and the burn out I experienced right before that. From that point on I decided to live a healthier life and put more effort in preventing this from happening again. I thought I was safe, but a few weeks ago the unceasing pain in my chest returned. I got medications for it to keep it under control, but the stress of the past few days haven't done me good. I am sorry to scare you like this."

So this is what Sophia meant when she mentioned that she thought the hospital could call any moment to tell her that her father had passed. Robert told him about his depressive episode, and his burn out when Gouenji himself had been on the verge of overstrain, but he left out the part of the hospital visits and his weak heart. "So that is what you were holding back all this time. I knew you were hiding something from me."

"I am sorry for leaving you in the dark; it is difficult for me to admit my weaknesses, especially to you. I didn't want to burden you with my problems, you are having enough on your plate already."

"You dimwit!" Gouenji gently hits him on his arm. "You should have told me! I care about you, if I had known then..."

"You wouldn't have behaved like a dick?"

"Maybe."

They're smiling at each other. "Shuuya, I am so terribly sorry." He holds his husband's hand and squeezes it weakly. "About everything."

"No, I am sorry. I should have come to you instead of avoiding you. I was so terrified of losing you that I pushed you further away from me. I was so hurt that I wanted you to feel the same pain, without realising that you were already suffering. I was acting egoistic. I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. I cheated on you, and ruined our marriage." He can feel the tears coming up again.

"Hush, Shuuya." Robert pulls gently on his arm and shifts to the edge of the narrow bed. Gouenji gets up and gently lies down beside him, his head against his shoulder, and their fingers intertwined. "I love you." Robert whispers softly in English.

Gouenji feels like he could break again any moment when he hears Robert say the words he had been subconsciously longing for. "I love you too."

He's so tired suddenly, all he wants to do is sleep, but he is afraid that if he closes his eyes his might risk losing Robert again. Robert seems to feel him faultlessly, as he always does. "Close your eyes, Shuuya. I am with you." To emphasize his words he squeezes softly in his hand again. Even now that Robert is in the hospital after a nearly dead experience, Gouenji is still his first priority. Gouenji intends to ensure he will take extra good care of him once he's dismissed from the hospital. They are both aware that the argument is not over yet. They both did things they regret, but they will work this out later, when Robert is back on his feet again. For now, they are together again, and Gouenji finally feels safe enough to close his eyes and drift away in the arms of his husband.

* * *

Ever since Robert was allowed to return home the both of them have been keeping themselves busy. Robert needed exercise, but a lot of rest too. They followed a special diet that was supposed to help the both man to gain back their strength and energy, and Gouenji is working less so he can spend more time with his recovering husband. A couple of weeks ago they started with slowly talking about their problems, in a very special way. Their arguments come with rules. Little by little they discuss what happened before Robert's accident, and when it is getting out of hand, or one of them can't control their emotions any longer, they take a break of their fight focus on doing something else. It may sound a bit weird, but for them it appears to be the perfect fighting method. Like last time, they were about to lose control, so they decided on a break. Gouenji rushed to the bathroom and filled the bath for them; they had a wonderful afternoon together in the hot tub. Relaxing and enjoying each other's company. The argument continued the next day after they rested and had enough time to over think their words. The biggest issue in their relationship now is trust, or the lack of it. Gouenji deceived Robert, and it will take time for him to heal, and for Gouenji to gain back his trust. Gouenji noticed that Robert had trouble with his husband working overtime and arrived home late. Robert's distrust in him worked on his nerves and the argument started, and a little while later they were having less rough sex than usual on the furniture. The doctor said that Robert needed lots of exercise, but they're certain Dr. Gouenji didn't mean blowing off steam by having sex at every opportunity they get. It is a good thing that the doctor is not informed about the methods Robert uses, but he complimented him for his quick recovery. It won't take long before Robert is able to move around like he used to again.

But Robert doesn't have to do anything currently. Gouenji offered that he would do anything Robert desired in the following weeks, and he takes full advantage of it.

"Shuuya!"

Gouenji pulls up the black stocking until it's on the height of his knee and forces his foot in his new shoes. Wobbling on his feet he tries to stand up. He doesn't understand how women could ever take joy out of walking on heels. It's uncomfortable, you're not stable on your feet, and it's extremely painful. He looks at his own reflection in the mirror. He is wearing a black with white trim one piece dress with a full skirt far above the appropriate knee length, a white apron with lace, and a ruffled headpiece in his tied, blonde hair. He looks ridiculous in his outfit, Robert will probably laugh at him before he even feels a tiny bit aroused, but he asked for it.

"_Shuuji_, are you done yet?"

He takes a deep breath before he staggers on his high heels to the living room. "You called, Master?" He asks with the most cheerful but polite smile he's got. That alone must be an unforgettable sight for his husband.

Robert does indeed respond as Gouenji expected, he was almost breathless with laughter, and Gouenji was barely able to withhold him from getting his phone to record it. Just when he wants to start with their fanciful roleplay, in which Robert plays the hard working, married man, who is having an affair with his maid and they have to get everything done before his wife returns home (yes, quite the sensitive topic, but it seems to work better for them then couples therapy), he sees a present on the table. "What is that?"

Robert smiles and pulls him down beside him on the sofa. "I have a present for you." He whispers lovingly in his ear with a low voice that gives Gouenji goose pimples all over his body. He is not sure if this is part of their roleplay or not, in both cases it could be a toy they could use in the bedroom. However, the content of the package doesn't feel like a toy. It's rather soft. Gouenji is as surprised as speechless when he unwraps his present and takes notice of what is inside. In his hands he's holding a white romper with the text "Be aware! My daddy's the Holy Emperor!", printed on it with red letters. When he looks back at Robert, he sees that his eyes are filled full of hope and expectations.

"Robert, what is this?"

"Shuuya, I want to have a baby with you."

* * *

**My dear, sweet, sweet Heather.**  
**I haven't made this easier for you, have I now? I know you had a tough period, and it's still not over yet. It pains me to see that you are suffering, even if you say that you are just very emotional. I don't like seeing you being a big mess, unless it's about my fanfiction.  
I could have given you something fluffly like the last time (chapter 2), and that might not be "how I work" (because honestly how could I ever come up with more good events?) but this is not about me. For you, I would have done it.  
But I wanted to show you something. I know, it is just fanfiction, but there comes an end to all the bad times.  
It will go uphill again from some point on, it might not be as soon as we like, but it won't always be like this. I want you to know that I will always be here to support you.**

**I will be here when you laugh, I will be there when you cry, I will be there when you break down because of fanfiction because then it's most likely my fault to begin with. You are so very special to me. I love you.**

**And hey, good news! This end means another chapter, right? ... that's good news... perhaps.**

**Now, I will be waiting for you on twitter where you can scold me and then cry in my arms.**

**Much love,**

**Your not so very sweet angel.**


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